Gay Fusion

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“fuuuuuu-SION...HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”

~ Gay Dancers on Gay Fusion

Gay Fusion is A pseudo-scientific term describing the transfer of gay 'energy' from one male to another, or a linkage of multiple males, by joining thumbs and pinky fingers (photo coming soon). Gay Fusion was discovered accidentally by a group of heterosexual male friends in Salem, Oregon in the 1990's. Although not confirmed, many Gay Fusion believers speculate that the US Navy may have covertly discovered Gay Fusion in the early 20th century, employing its use extensively during World War I to maintain morale amongst sailors (seamen).

When pinky fingers and thumbs of males touch, gay 'energy' - best described as metaphysical, spiritual, or even emotional - is transferred from one male to another. Gay energy can be fused with multiple males, up to the thousands if properly linked. However, early experimentation in Salem, Oregon indicates that a group of three is ideal to ensure proper fusion and to preserve the intimate feel and bonding of the ritual.

[edit] Fusion of Gay (homosexual) Energy

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines fusion as:

A merging of diverse, distinct, or separate elements into a unified whole

Using this definition as a backdrop, Gay Fusion believers contend that when linked by thumb and pinky fingers to other males, gay energy is passed through and between the individuals linked. The result is a harmony of gay or homosexual energy. Practitioners report sensations of unity, pride through male to male bonding, spiritual excitement, and above all, a surging sensation of gayness.

One does not need to be homosexual to take part in Gay Fusion rituals.

[edit] Gay Fusion as an Alternative Energy Source

Although technology doesn't yet exist to harness the power of Gay Fusion, some environmentalists have entertained the possibility of using Gay Fusion as a renewable and clean source of energy. However, most environmentalist dimiss the possibility as 'unachievable,' 'a pipe dream,' or 'just plain silly.'

Written by Matthew "Pedo" Oogs