Gay rights

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A common misconception is that gay rights are special rights. In reality, gay rights are just rights to that are gay. Like the right for an attorny, that is an example of a gay right.

[edit] Beginnings

First established in England during the 18th century, the Gay Rights movement had its humble origins in a chapel near the mouth of the Rhein. It was founded by Oscar Wilde and Lord Byron, both upstanding members of the local constabulary, and former altar boys.

While their first meeting was completely accidental, the two men soon realized that fate must have intervened. With Byron under attack from the Gay Wrong, and Wilde under attack from the Gay Left, they soon realized that their only hope of salvation would be to form a new organization. As both groups had made many enemies, willing members were not hard to find. Seeking a name which highlighted their cause, the two men settled upon the Gay W/Rights club. After much debate, they agreed to use a lowercase r in the second word. This pacified Wilde, who pronounced both words the same, and Byron, who desperately needed an r.

[edit] First Missions of the Gay rights Club

With their organization now named, Wilde and Byron soon turned it against their foes. Having a great deal of experience writing military propaganda, (some even stolen by the Nazis) Wilde began to pen Byron's fiery orations, which he delivered as weekly sermons, and to children during story hour. These orations were hugely popular for pirates, and Byron and Wilde converted many to their cause. Within months the surrounding populace had been initiated, and they began to march south into Fellatia.

Their first assault began on Oct. 20, 1284. Not much is known about their battles, but we encourage disillusioned members to speak out here confidentially.

[edit] The Breakup of the Gay rights Club

While they fought the good fight, and ultimately triumphed over their enemies, the GRC was not immune to its own rhetoric. Feeling rather chipper one April Fool's day, Wilde decided to pen a little phrase into one of Byron's speeches. Assuming that the greate orator would see it and recognize it for what it was, Wilde jokingly closed one speech with the now-infamous quote:

“Homosexuals are pretty fucking gay!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Homosexuals

Upon reading this aloud, Byron slowly grew red in the face, as the astonished members began to mutter angrily. Percieveing that they had been being used by their leaders, a massive catfight began in the church, and soon fires and looting consumed the town. Wilde, sitting in the back, quickly escaped the situitation by leaping onto Byron's horse, given to him by Catherine the Great. As Byron was being pelted with feces and wadded up tissues, he ran to the door, just in time to see Wilde ride off in the distance, upon his own horse.

After escaping on a pink bicycle, Byron swore that he would devote the rest of his life to hunting down Wilde, to punish him for what he had done.

[edit] The GRC in Modern Times

After the downfall of their leaders, the members of the GRC splintered into multiple competing factions. For the next two hundred years the various groups fought each other, until finally uniting to fight against the Retards and the Gays. Currently, the GRC is called PETA. Their next fight will be against the tyranny of the Great Permissive Dude in the Sky Who Lets Us Do Whatever We Want.

Peter Tatchell, a modern gaylord likes to distance himself from PETA, preferring to be called the second coming of the GRC. He regularly receives protein injections.

“I have rights!”

~ Peter Tatchell on a man

“I ain't getting on no man”

~ Mr. T on faggots

[edit] Gay rights in Iran

Homosexuality has never, is never, and will never exist in Iran. Despite this, being gay is a crime, as commanded by the Islamic theocracy, when Allah destroyed the people of Lot because they raped a guy's sons rather than his daughters. Ah well, I'm sure it had nothing to do with rape. The non-existing gays sometimes get killed, although they don't exist, but the non-existing gays don't exist because the non-existing gays get killed. Homosexuality can only be confirmed if a man confesses four times (apparently men in Iran have a hard time keeping their mouths shut), or is dobbed in by four bitchy ex boy friends. The testimony of women has no standing, so having gay sex infront of them in Iran is perfectly ok. They might even enjoy it. The punishment for a manly kiss is 60 lashes (not a bad deal if you ask me). If you're a homo the punishment for gay sex is death, and for lesbos it's 100 lashes and death after being caught the fourth time. Unless you pretend you're really sorry.