GenCon

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GenCon is a semi-biannual (during alternate Augusts only) gathering of leaders of the various tribes of geeks, nerds, gamers, dweebs, booth babes, and violent merchandisers. During the four-day event, attendants play non-stop, Red Bull-enhanced marathon games of Dungeons and Dragons, dress up like elves and/or Jedi, and exude enough sweat and grease from their bodies to sink the Titanic.

[edit] Origin of GenCon

The first GenCon was held in New York's Little Italy in 1921. Vito Corleone opened a "legitimate" business, GenCo Olive Oil, as a cover for his mafia activities. The sign-painter he hired accidentally put an "n" on the end. Before Vito could correct the mistake, swarms of virgin males in their teens and early twenties emerged from their parents' basements and converged on the building. Since then, gaming and pizza have gone hand-in-hand.

GenCon became much more popular in the late 1960s and early 1970s, after the invention of the role-playing game. (Before this, GenCon consisted mainly of conventioneers dreaming of the existence of television, polyhedral dice, and girls that wanted to sleep with them.) Once gaming entered the picture, the tone of GenCon was changed forever, becoming what is known throughout one-third of the world as the "festival of the great unwashed."

[edit] GenCon Today

Well, probably not today. After all, it's only four days out of the year, so the odds are only 1/91.25 that today is, in fact, one of the days GenCon falls on. Soothsayers and mystics are consulted to determine which day the convention should begin on; however, the practice of removing and inspecting people's livers for this purpose has been hushed up since 1986. The convention is held inside a giant replica of Gary Gygax's sinuses, made of paper-mache and spackle. Over 65,987,345 events take place during the festival, 90% of which are cancelled or relocated at the last minute. Well over threescore and ten conventioneers show up, many of them intentionally. At the end of the fourth day, the hall is burned to the ground, leading to a final round of LAFFing (Live-Action Fire Fighting) by all and sundry.