George Bush (species)
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The George Bush, Idiotus Dumbassius Texaniun is a species of Old World monkey that lives primarily in New England (i.e. Connecticut and Maine) and forests around the world. This species generally prefers to spend the warmest months of the year in Maine, but spends its formative years at various institutes of debauchery in Connecticut. The species has a long standing symbiotic and parasitic connection to various financial institutions based in New York City and maintains multiple addresses in the state of Texas in order to fraudulently avoid state income taxes that prevail in their native environments.
[edit] Characteristics
The George Bush is known as the animal having the lowest intelligence in the world, and is thought to be descended from the prehistoric species Poopugarius Suckiulius. The George Bush is around 3 feet tall with the tallest one being measured 5-6 feet tall. This creature is a herbivore and a bug eater, feeding off fleas and bananas, as usual monkies do. However, one of its main means of self diffence is producing large amounts of excretion in which they hurl at predators. The poop they throw contains a special acid that can dissolve through bone. The reason so is because the George Bush consumes oil occasionally to keep up its deadliness. Yet, this special acid can be used to make nitrogen bombs.
[edit] Reproduction
The male of the species is hard to tell from the female of the species since they both look the same and even have the same sexual organs. It wasn't until a discovery was made by famous zoologist Oscar Wilde that we now know the George Bush doesn't reproduce at all due to lack of semen. Instead they bite anything that comes nearby turning them into one of them. Besides, its too unnatural for something that hideous to fuck according to Bob's law that God has good taste.
[edit] The Monkeyman
There have been sightings of a shaved George Bush running around the whitehouse. Cryptozoologists are beginning to dub this creature the Monkeyman. It was first sighted by resident vampire Dick Cheney abd denies he has anything to do with it. He was seen with a razor full of monkey hair at the time.
