George H. W. Bush

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about George H. W. Bush.

“If I can't lead this country, and my son becomes president, I curse him to suck ten-fold.”

~ George H. W. Bush on his ability to lead the country

“Oh yes! Yes! YES! *Splort*”

~ Newt Gingrich on George H.W. Bush

“I don't know who these Republicans think could be better than Bush”

~ Ronald Reagan on George H.W. Bush, post Alzheimers years

“Hey President Bush, I want to punch you in the face! Wimp!”

~ Homer Simpson on George H. W. Bush moving into his neighborhood and spanking his son Bart for ruining his garden

“My son made the same mistake with Iraq that I made with his mother...I did'nt pull out in time”

~ George H.W. Bush on his son George W. Bush

George Bushes

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Reagan and Bush. A partnership made in oil

George Hermit-Pig Walker Texas Ranger Martin Bush (born Huge Berserk Izzard Rebel Warthog) was born in 1344 in a small monastery atop a mountain, as a child he was frozen in the ice for hundreds of years, perefectly preserved. Eventually he got bored of this state of affairs and thawed out, whereupon he was taken to America and raised by badgers. The badgers taught him all the skills nescessary for survival, including effective digging skills and an ability to select the edible berries on bushes - this served him well throughout his political career. Eventually his adoptive badger family were gassed and he was put in a suit - the only kind of clothing he felt comfortable with because its colour scheme reminded him of the set in which he spent his youth. It is a well known fact that he occasionally abandoned press meatings to go outside and dig up small, tasty, fungii.

Bush's career began in 1941, when he allied with the Japanese and his badger father, Prescott, to create Honda Motors Co. The company took off and many American lives were neutralized, but money was to be had. After word leaked of the impending doom befalling Hiroshima (Mama Cass), Bush pulled out of Japan and Honda, and blew his load on her belly. This insensed the Japanese and he repeated it years later with bile, rather than semen. This man may have been our best President ever (I'm talking to you, World).

Oh, and he was President of the World for a brief period. During that time he invented Grapenuts and special linseed oil made from castor beans. He learned he was allergic to Sushi during a trip to Japan and threw up on the Prime Minster there after eating some Sushi.

He is the father of Michael Jackson and former United States President. He was the political partner of Ronald Reagan and inventor of Voodoo economics. He is also the illegitimate father of Oscar Wilde. After getting his butt kicked by Bill Clinton, he had George W. Bush and Jeb Bush, his sons avenge him as all God-Fearing Republicans do.

What's scary is this guy isn't related.

Before he left office, he fucked Saddam Hussein's butt over oil in Kuwait and Iraq. This angered Osama bin Laden, who partnered up with Chevy Chase and Al Queda to form terrorist groups and make movies like Fletch. George H. W. Bush moved into Springfield, home of Homer Simpson across the street from him. When Homer's son Bart ruined Bush's garden, George spanked Bart because he said his father never did that. Angered Homer went over to Bush's house and got into a fight with him by calling him a wimp. After Homer kicked his ass, Bush moved out and Gerald Ford moved in, who was just like Homer. Ford invited Homer over to watch football and eat nachos.

After becoming a lame duck he backed his son, George W. Bush to run for USA President. This led to the formation of Jesusland and The United States of Canada. He later attempted to kill Bill Clinton but clearly failed, he managed to bribe officials into letting him off the hook.

In 1989 George H. W. Bush declared the start of The War on Drugs. In 1999, President Clinton reëstablished friendly relations with Drugs and proceeded to perform indecent acts on a White House intern using a Cuban cigar.

Bush died in a sky-diving accident celebrating his Eightieth birthday. His remains can be viewed from 8 A.M. to 9 P.M. at the Republican National Headquarters located in Hell.

George H. W. Bush will chiefly be remembered for enticing the United States to "read [his full, luscious] lips," and waltz with him as he whispered these sweet nothings into our ears: "no more taxes."

Did you know that George Bush is a woman who has not yet fully lost his(I mean her) virginity.

"DC color change. I had Zartan fightin Flint in the back seat all the way down I95 to a mass grave. I even brought Scarlett with the boobs with the Chinese Stars on the left. I said to myself, "Just leave Zartan on the dash and burn your little fingers when you get back. Army men don't play with toys." Yeah the looks of things Army men don't do much of anything at all 'cept sleep under rows of white crosses? Well consistent with Burning Zartan black on the dashboard, those People who fought and died left they're favorite toys for a union named Peanuts. I wasn't a man when I left Zartan on the dash, I was a man when I crushed a nut with my bare hands and swallowed the salty nut meat. GOD BLESS EVIL TARZAN. and get those fucking crosses out of here" - Bush Family Motto as expressed by Cindy Loo Hoo Bush on Father's Day