Georgia
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
- For Georgia (state of the United States of America and Mexico), see Georgia (U.S. State).
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| Motto: "Burn the Bunnies" | |||||
| Anthem: Samchoblo | |||||
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| Capital | Tbilisi | ||||
| Largest city | Tbilisi | ||||
| Official languages | A Language of A Million Threes: Georgian | ||||
| Government | Democratic Republic with no freedom of speech | ||||
| -King | Misha Saakashvili | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Stalin, Beria, Saakashvili, "the women in saunas" | ||||
| Declaration of Independence | In 1991 from damn Russia | ||||
| Currency | lari | ||||
| Religion | Satanism | ||||
| Population | 66666 | ||||
Contents |
History
Georgia was known as Iberia and Colchis in the medieval period, and it was constantly attacked by the nasty Persians and Mongols. The muslim Persians used their magical Allah powers and took over the capital of Georgia and burned it to ground. Later on Georgia became a republic of Soviet Russia and started producing bananas.
During the Soviet Era Georgia produced a world national hero, Comrade Generalissimo Stalin, who is known as one of the toughest men on earth. Losing one Contest to Chuck Norris.
Georgia's main export is Chili Wili's Sili Vodka, the chilliest, silliest vodka mascotted by Chili Wili the Sili penguin of Bloody Civil War.
Politics
Histocally, Georgia could not get along with its neighbors: Persia, Russia and the Ottoman Empire. They used to ally with big guys like Roman and Greek Empires to protct Georgia from its neighbors. After this era, the vast state-regulated alpaca farms of the country were developed and the products of these are currently the main export. Since Greeks and Romans are not around around any more the United States and Giourgious Bushus are the big buddies of Georgia and its hero President Saakashvili who can't really get along with Putey Pute.
The current king of the Georgian kingdom is King Saakashvili.
Born in Tbilisi to an intelligent family, young Saakashvili progressed as a pirate and raided several countries (including Iceland) and held the seas in horror for a whole decade.
However, life of a pirate soon became boring to him, and he decided to get into politics. He returned to his homeland and served as a toiletwasher in Georgia's Parlament.
In 2003 however, he lead a Rose Revolution against the evil dictator, Eduard Shevardnadze, and became the King of Georgia.
Among the political achievements of King Saakashvili is the establishment of a national Banana export market, which are being imported from Southern African tribes.
Even though crime rate raised by 120% on Saakashvili's term, people don't seem to care, as long as they get free dining buildings. (Food is more important than life for whites)
The Rose Revolution itself, was made possible by using Roses as weapons, since Georgian Roses have the sharpest thorns on Earth as reported by the Islamic Jihad. Please note : Several AK47s have been also used in the process.
One of the most fearful of his enemies is considered the Robin Kvitsiani, who steals his bananas for the Soviet Union.
It is also speculated that King Mikhael Saakashvili is actually a clone/reincarnation of Georgia's N1 man Joseph Stalin.
Rose Revolution
Georgia was ruled by the puppets for moe than 200 years and Eduard Sheardnadze was the latest of them. People of Georgia became sick of Russian Commie bastards and rose up during the Rose Revolution to stand up for democracy. The hero King Mikheil Saakashvili helped to form a Georgia Reconquista from the Soviets and all the Russian Commie bastards.
Georgia, after the Rose Revolution, is a totally democratic country with no freedom of speech and religion. Heil Nazi!!! Uberstein!
However, Russia keeps doing an economic sanction on Georgia: recently Putey decided to turn the electricity in Winter when there was a big snow and everybody was freezing in Georgia for about a week.
Robin Hood of Georgia
Robin Kvitsiani of Georgia, who is known for stealing from the rich and giving to the poor (actually he buys AK47/Grenades/Bazookas), is known to hide in the woods of Kodor while carrying a 100,000 lari award to anyone who brings his head to the almighty King Saakashvili of Georgia. Poverty led him to accept 20 million dollars from the bears of the North and he started a rebellion against the almight Georgian Kingdom. Then he decided to go on a resort in Abkhazia and hang around with some Northern Georgian partisans and finally he ended up in Russia.
Robin Kvitsiani is widely hated by the almighty Georgian Kingdom due to him selling Georgian bananas to Soviet Mother Russia, therefore destroying Georgia's economics by 99% percent! The other 1% is reported to consist of export of Caucasian mountains to Saudi Arabia.
Robin Kvitsiani himself is an expert of chinese bow and carries a magical green hat which protects him from King Saakashvili's magical telepathy powers. (It is widely considered that he stole the hat from Magneto), but Robin Kvitsiani himself denies the accusation.
Current reports by Georgian CSI investigators mention Robin Kvitsiani hiding deep inside the Kodor forest, but no one dares to enter since Robin Kvitsiani is reported to have abilities of transforming into a tree (which makes it useless to go looking for him).
It is also widely speculated by the Christian Orthococks Church that Robin Kvitsiani is the Anti-Christ himself sent directly from hell to bestow his almighty judgment upon Georgia for the country's vast population of Satanists and homosexuals.
Language
The Georgian language, also known as Q'krgtrghrmkhnvtghdrvkhk'ts'rghm was invented by Klingon bears from outer space who enslaved the native Georgians in the middle ages and forced them to learn it. Its fake name is Kartuli Ena which was created to convince the stupid westerners that the language is actually pronouncable. Georgian has no vowels whatsoever; the so-called vowel characters are actually imaginary shwas that the Georgians stole from the Jews. Unfortunately this did not work as to this day no one can pronounce Georgian, even the Georgians. Georgian grammar is even more impossible to learn than the pronunciation, which is why all Georgian actually speak in Mandarin Chinese, which of course has no grammar. Georgian has 99 noun cases, 300 verb tenses, and words are commonly known to run as many as 3000 letters long. The Georgian dictionary was so big that the Georgians had to eject it into space where it is currently the alleged planet Pluto. Georgian is actually not related to Armenian, even though the latter is just as impossible to pronounce and was also invented by bears. There is another phenomena in Georgian language - it has 2 quotation marks. Both of them are exactly same by appearance, and the proper use of them still remains a mystery.
Religion
Religion was brought to Georgia in 3. BC by some whore crossing the cocky mountains and after already 2 years, Satanism served as the dominant religion throughout the kingdom. Satanic churches were conceived in each village and the largest one, Samebi, still stands in the center of the town. However, most of the churches were destroyed by the peace-loving Mongols that raided and completely destroyed Georgia in the 13th century.
The current highest sit in the Church is held by Ilya II, who is known for his dark magic powers and the ability to summon Lvl25 creatures directly from Hell to his service. Ilya himself, in childhood, was an Orthodox, but soon he realized how flawed and stupid Christianity is, and at the age of 16, he converted to Satanism, and at the age of 94, he became the Anti-Patriarch of Georgia. During his reign, he passed numerous laws which are known for their brutal and inhumane composition. Ilya II is also known for being the first Patriarch to actually possess the power to grow out demonic horns during satanic rituals (regard the photo for proof).
One of the most brutal religious law ever passed in Georgia is the Satanic Act, signed by the uncleanest and unpurest Anti-Patriarch Ilya II himself, which bans all religions except Satanism from practice, and anyone caught will be immediately executed (without any trial) for heresy. The most popular case was when the priests came out from their church undergrounds and requested an immediate ban on the Da Vinci Code film by calling it blasphemy! Hundreds of Satanists gathered near the movie theater and yelled "Noone dares insult Jesus but us! Ban this film zomg BAN!!!?!!"
Tourism
Before travelling to Georgia, one should carefully weigh the pro and cons of the trip. Consider this:
Pro and Cons
PRO:
| CONS:
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See also
Gallery of Georgia
 King of Georgia while narrating his speech to Nato. |
 Giorgius Bushus of America helping Georgians |
 Putey Pute: "They will regret the friendship with the WIEST! They have to support the great world power RIASHIA" |
 Eduard Shevardnadze:"Yo what's up fellas!" |
 98.5% of Georgians are Satanists. Here is one of them. |
 The Georgian alphabet has 2 quotation marks, but no one knows why.. |
 The so called "Peaceful" Rose Revolution.. |
 Katie Manure after smelling her own name |
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