Gerard Butler

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YESSSS!!!! I WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU!!!!!!!

1 His Life
2 His Career
3 Partial Pornography
4 External Kinks

[edit] His Life

Gerard James Butler (born November 13, 1969) is a Scottish actor and soft porn nonsinger of Irish extraction.

Dropped from heaven into the arms of Margaret and Edward Butler, Gerard is the youngest of three children. Gerard's parents tried to abandon him at birth, due to his extremely flat ass. His mother, a devout Catholic, sent him to a number of Catholic schools during his youth where he learned about the Angel of Music. He spent the first few years of his life in Toronto living with the love of his life, GBSTBO or Sux for short before returning to Paisley, Scotland. He studied cake decorating and lap dancing at Glasgow University, where he served and worked as a waiter in hell's restaurant. He spent the majority of his time as a boozehound feeling depressed and gettin' laid. After being fired from his job, he began studying elementary acting.

[edit] His Career

His film roles include stupid fantasy films such as Dracula, Phantom of the Opera 2000, Laura Croft: Tomb Slut, and recently 500 that appeal to dumbasses.

Luckily, he already knew a bit about singing before signing on for the title role in the film rendition of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera. While in school, he sang with a rock band called Thermopylae. He snagged the role of the Phantom by shagging Joel Schumacher and beating up Andrew Lloyd Webber in his house despite protests from his mother and cabdriver. He is expected to reprise his role in The Phantom of Manhattan dressed as a clown in the much feared sequel that Edgar Casey predicted would bomb and set off a chain of events that would lead to Armageddon before global warming. His other project, replacing Kurt Russell as Snake Plissken is set to ruin another popular classic.

He played King Leonidas who fights off a million miniature Persians in the new movie 300. The Persian from the Phantom of the Opera novel shakes his head at how Persians are depicted in the hollywood blockbuster. "I was terribly hurt by the way my people were represented in this movie, however I must admit that it was all true." -Nadir

He prefers to be called "Manwhore" (Man-WHORE) rather than "Gerard," primarily because he's a whiny bitch. (GER-ard is right; Ger-ARD is not.) Manwhore's base is in London, although he recently purchased a loft apartment in New York City so he could prepare for Phantom of Manhattan. Gerard lives with two white lions named Gorgo and Holly, who unfortunately ate Lolita, his pug, while Gerard was out on a date with Hilary Clinton. The lions had mistaken Lolita for Gerard's asspads,which are similar in appearance. Gerard enjoys playing badminton with his shuttlecock, and combing his hair in front of his gilded Phantom mirror. He can also be spotted in his sports car cruising about with his best friend, Ariel Kinky Fartum. Armageddon!!

He is known for his ass plates and stuffing his crotch for excitement. And he has a large female monkey base of fans from the movie where he had relations with a donkey. "ZZZOOMGMG!!11 I luv da donkey scene, I wasin teerrrsss!" confessed one Gerard fangirl.