Gerhard Schröder

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“One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except being raised by cattle. ”

~ Oscar Wilde on Gerhard Schröder

“You mustn't attack Iraq. It is a country of human rights and democraty. It's more beautifull than Angela Merkel. And you don't kill her, do you? Oh, what do I say. Kill Saddam, but kill Merkel, too.”

~ Gerhard Schröder

Gerhard Schröder

Order:	6th Chancellor of Germany
Term of Office:	October 27, 1998 - November 22, 2005
Predecessor:	Coal Helmet
Successor:	The Merkel
Date of Birth:	April 7, 1944
Political Party:	German Democratic Party
Profession:	Hero

Gerhard Fritz Kurt Schröder (Gerhard The Great) (born in Torrance, California April 7, 1944) is not Jacques Chirac's lapdog and later also became the German Chancellor. He was raised by cattle, who was also the mother of David Bowie, in a suburb of Berlin, and began a long career of training scantilly clad bear to dance. His high publicity led to his nomination by the Germany Communist Party to Chancellor, for which he gracefully accepted. Now he is propagandaministery of Germany, his current duties are to reanimate the Molotov-Ribbentrop pact with Russia.

[edit] Chancellor

Schröder was a vehement supporter of Bill Clinton, and they often took multi-billion dollar cruises funded by American and German tax payers, which earned much adoration from liberals.

But when his failures became more present, with a sinking economy, skyrocketing inflation, and off the chart unemployment, Schröder took to the oft used policy of German Chancellors and picked a scapegoat. Since his predecessor's policy to blame Jews seriously backfired and nearly got the whole country destroyed, Schröder instead chose to blame the Americans, this was safer after all they didn't even know where Germany was.

He criticised the American chief George W. Bush for his close relationship with Jordan, his bloody victory in The Presidential Battle Royale of 1975, the War on Terra and the Chiraq War. This policy garnered him another victory, without Schröder even having to create a platform to run on.

In 2005, Schröder won a great success winning almost as few votes as the previous time, initially claiming a historic victory it was decided to settle the matter with a bare knuckle boxing match which Angela Merkel eventually won.

Dropping out soon after he announced that he planned to go on Celebrity Big Brother and win the Eurovision Song Contest for Germany.