Ginger
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A Ginger Person, Recessive Nightmare or Ranga is the medically correct term for people with a hair color ranging from light orange to a deep blood red, and translucent to pallid skin tone. Much adversity has been attributed to their existence throughout history.
“I hope that one day, Ranga will be judged not by the pallidness of their skin, but by the presence of their firecrotch.”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr. on Gingers
“Yes they deserve to die and I hope they burn in Hell”
~ Samuel L. Jackson on firecrotches
“Rusty on top....Damp down below..."”
~ Galileo
“GINGERS FOR JUSTICE!!! WE WANT FREEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!! EVERYONE CRY'FREEEEEEEEDOM'!!! ”
~ Mick Hucknill on Gingers
“I will see that all Gingerites are treated freely under the US substitution act 2, verse 103 all Gingers are to be treated well but they cannot be president. He he he he heh!"”
“But there everywhere sir!”
~ Jonah
“In Soviet Russia, Ginger kids are blond!”
~ Andreas Lohne on Gingers
Contents |
[edit] History
Rangas (gingers, as they are commonly known) were discovered in a slum area of Minster, where gingers, and in fact the world's ginger population breeded from this ginger incested ethnicity called Minsterian. They quickly grew to reproduce themselves (yes they have the power to) and formed a superhuman race of soul-sucking vampires, as they themselves are soulless.
Gingers have been subject to discrimination for many years based on their appearance, and due to their alleged lack of a soul. This soullessness has lead brunettes to believe that Gingers therefore lack human emotion and dignity. This doctrine eventually lead to the formation of Brown Supremacist groups which promote the "superiority" of brown-haired people.
Later, there was a retaliation: a similar movement by the gingers to eradicate everyone who did not have red hair, light skin, and freckles. Eric Cartman was later arrested for conspiracy and fraud.
Famous gingers throughout history include:
- Andrew Soper (Fastest swimming ginger since the gulf war)
- A Sith They Called 'Emo' (youtube fag)
- Scully
- Kyle Broflovski
- Sheila Broflovski
- Horacio Caine
- Margareth Thatcher (Rumored)
- Lois Pewterschmidt / Griffin
- Jar Jar Binks
- Michael Jackson
- Hitler
- Kristy "I'd fuck Jesus" Warren
- Saddam Hussein
- Red Fraggle
- Gareth Gould
- Ireland
- Ginger(guy from the Wildhearts)
- Robert Hughes
- Ioan Wigley
- Regery Avers
- carrot top (unfunny doushebag who loves his steroids)
- linsay lohan aka fire crotch
- Paddy Spiers
are renouned for having no genitaila of which to speak.
[edit] Origin and Description
It is thought that the gingers originated somewhere just off the coast of Madagascar. From there they began a disgustingly filthy mating process which caused many CO2s to be released into the environment. The Ginger menace began to spread throughout Madagascar where the first colonisation of Land Gingers settled. Throughout the following years the Rangers spread throughout the world causing much upset among the populous of the world and lowering house prices globally. This decrease in house prices caused investors to go abroad into places like Spain and France where the Ginger menace was at a minimum. England and Scotland, the places most threatened by Gingers held up an epic battle against this threat through spitting in their faces and vandalizing their cars. The Scottish eventually lost and became a Ginger Dominated community, Leading to names like Morage and Leoni. England mostly won their battle but they still appear in many streets. As the English focused their attacks on the Ginger menace they turned their back on everyone else allowing the traitor, Tony Blair, to sneak in many foreigners, gypsies and terrorists. Outrage let out and civil war broke out as man turned on each other. Began a year of much rape and pillaging. Shortly after this the community mostly got drunk and so began a year of happiness. The next year was the World Cup where the English turned their attention to the Portuguese after they faked an injury to take us out of the world cup. After this the Gingers had become integrated in to society and so came the general Ginger saying "I'm Ginger, Deal with it!"
The point of this is kill all the dirty men cause the women are mostly hot!
[edit] Types and Classification
Half-breeds / Dhampirs
Those with auburn hair, or with one normal parent and one ranga parent. This is rare, as most normal humans are repulsed by the ginger's appearance (though hypnotized by the firecrotch).
Self-loathing Gingers
As the title implies, rangers who dye their hair to hide who they truly are. Said to be the redhead counterparts to self-hating black man Michael Jackson, they often emulate him by attempting to give their skin a new ("tan") color with creams.
Daywalkers
These are the rangers that have built up substantial resilience to sunlight, and lack freckles. They can stay out in the sun for more than fifteen minutes without incinerating. These generally
True Gingers or GingerxCore
From carroty to flame-red hair with freckles all over the body. From a distance, they can almost appear tan, having large clusters of these orangish-brown dots.
Hot Gingers"
These are rare, but exceptionally hot when found. They have incredibly pale skin, that is known to actually glow in the dark. They usually have green eyes, and no freckles. They have quite sharp jaws, and prominent collarbones which give a gentle definition between their delicate necks and perfectly rounded breasts. Again, these are very rare... But be careful, they play hard to get and always leaving you wanting more. They are the most dangerous of gingers. They know how to play, and always get what they want. They are the most vampire like of gingers.
Recently there has been a "GingerxCore" movement, encouraging young Rangers to accept themselves for who they are, then bitch about it. Likened to the emo movement, it is equally despicable, and usually features ginger youth with too much eyeliner taking oddly angled photographs of themselves in their bathroom mirrors.
[edit] Habitat
Most rangers live in underground cities, sewers, and Atlantis, but some have managed to work their way into normal society, gradually building up a slight resistance to sunlight and weaning themselves from an all-blood diet. A few redheads live amongst us. The ones that appear during the day are usually in a hurry (clearly to escape into their cave or other dark place to hole up in).
[edit] Sexuality and Breeding
The power of the ginger lies in the colorful adornment around their sexual organs. Most are hypnotized by its power, and are helpless against its attraction. While it is safe to poke with a stick or broken piece of wire, it is not safe to engage in the act of coitus without serious reprocussion, usually in the form of addiction and attraction to gingers from that point forward. This is their primary weapon.
Gingers have found it easier to engage in vampirism while their victim is hypnotized by the reddish/ginger-regions before them. They often use their radiant hair, large breasts, and fertile vaginal expanse to lure innocent brown haired boys, Indians, Asians, Africans, Germans, Chinese and Haitians. Mexicans however can turn the tables on the ginger by offering up shots of tequila, which render the ginger merely whiney and annoying. Many redheads will strike for the neck, leaving purple colored blotches. For that reason many victims of redheads wear turtle necks to avoid being identified. Be sure to watch for any gingers closest to you.
Vampirism can even be enjoyable, which is even more dangerous. They lure you into a false sense of security, with gentle nibbles and the like until...
[edit] Firecrotches
Due to their nature, a true ranga will always grow red pubic hair (also known as "the firecrotch). This is how the lay-person can detect a pure-bred from a bottle-bred wannabe.
In females, the firecrotch has been known to burn off male sexual parts when in contact. Extreme caution must taken when engaging in this activity, and condoms must be used to prevent penile combustion.
Those female gingers who are so repulsive (approximately 87%) they would have no chance of getting laid ever can reproduce asexually.
“Oh My God! Is it on fire?”
~ Carrot Top's Ex-Boyfriend on Firecrotches
[edit] Extermination
Ranga extermination is a legal practice in Lebanon, Germany (as is brunette extermination), the United Kingdom ( Particularly southern England) and Communist China. It is, however, outlawed in every state in the U.S. (due to the Humane Society and PETA), except Kansas (with permit).
There have been some victims of hate crimes despite measures to protect the Redheads. Notably, philanthropist Rupert Grint lost his life tragically. Lest we forget. Vincent Van Gogh, a self-loathing ginger, attacked himself. Lindsey Lohan, the Queen of Redheads, perpetually snorts cocaine and doesn't eat to try and kill off her own race. We can only hope she doesn't reproduce.
There is also a debilitating disease in many gingers known as CIS (or Cruel Irony Syndrome), where their skin doesn't have the normal sun protection, and so causes the victim to spontaneously combust when exposed to the sun for more than 5 minutes. This disease has been known to keep their numbers in check, as literally 10's succumb to this disease every year.
Est ce qu'on chiale sur les brunes, sur les blondes, sur les mèches sur tout, non ! pcq on est fière de sa batard! VIVE LES ROUSSES, peut importe cque le monde dise sur nous, Au pire continuez, amusez vous, sa vous sert à quoi ? À être heureux ! AHAH PAS DE VIE !
Avez vous vu une touffe de rousse ? NON HEN AVOUEZ LOL , jte gage ke cé une rousse ki a écrit tout ca pour en savoir beaucoup! :D Jle redis une derniere fois ! VIVE LES ROUSSES !
[edit] 7 Ginger Overlords and The Ginger Triad of Evil
Modern gingers are ruled by the seven ginger overlords. These overlords remain secret to only those who are of ginger decent, but they monitor and orchestrate ginger movement everywhere. When a ginger breaks with the overlords, they are cast out and are given cancer and herpes. The only way a ginger can regain entry into the ginger society is by fellating 2 goats, sacrificing a Canadian, and stockpiling 3 years worth of Crest whitening strips.
The Ginger Triad of Evil (aka G-TOE) is a secret underground sect run by Manchester United midfielder Paul Scholes, shit singer Mick Hucknall and that chimp who plays Max Branning in EastEnders. Various theories conclude that due to their oppressive treatment during childhood and most of their lives, they wanted all non-gingers to feel the wrath of Ginger hatred, known in a foretold passage as 'Wrath of the Ranga'. After Max summoned a young, impressionable yet rage-fuelled Scholes and the twat Hucknall, they agreed to unleash revenge upon the world that oppressed them and any good ginger people (such as Bradley from EastEnders and that Leprechaun from the Lucky Charms cereal advert) should perish if they do not agree to serve the Ginger Triad of Evil. The G-TOE have various agents and henchmen (and women) based all around the world, such as former Arsenal defender Igor Stepanovs, Cilla Black, Geri Haliwell (well, duh!), Chris Evans and Anne Robinson. They are rumoured to be responsible for the conception of Hitler (having travelled back in time using their evil ginger powers and played match-maker to Mr and Mrs Hitler), as well as match-making the parents of the likes of Idi Amin, Josef Stalin, Saddam Hussein, Celine Dion, Robert Kilroy Silk, Osama bin Laden and all of the Scissor Sisters among others, knowing that their offspring would be responsible for such evil crimes as genocide and being an annoying twat with a shit daytime talk show and even shitter political parties. Other activities include masterminding the war in Iraq (before his infamous speech at the UN they had Colin Powell crying like a baby in fear of the full extent of their evil wrath), 9/11, the 2004 Boxing Day Tsunami, Hurricaine Katrina and the Rwandan genocide. They also bullied Kim Jong-Il (such as flushing his head down the toilet, making fun of him for being a little short-arse and giving him wedgies) into developing nuclear warheads and constantly goading America in order to get a war going. It has been foretold that the chosen gingers of good would emerge to stop the G-TOE from conquering everything. it was also foretold that when the time comes, Bradley from EastEnders, the Leprechaun off the Lucky Charms cereal advert and my mate Alex (who's ginger but he's well safe) will do battle with the G-TOE which shall decide the fate of us all...
The aforementioned Passage reads:
And thus, the power of The Ginger Triad of Evil shall grow and their evil shall make the world endure the long-foretold 'Wrath of the Ranga.' During the darkest hour, three heroes of hair colour akin to the committers of evil shall emerge to protect the good people of this world. Their fate however, is uncertain but in them lies the only hope for the rest of humanity.
As an overall summation, gingers (or rangas, a new common term within Australia) are the butt of every joke and regularly get bashed just for their physical features.
[edit] The Ginger Movement
Gingers, throughout the 21st Century considered inferior to Gypsies and Midgets, began a movement in April 1993 to be given equal rights with normal human beings. Many closet gingers such as Michael Jackson voiced their support for the movement. Mass rallies were organised in the Southern States such as Texas, Virginia and Mexico where upto 12,000 gingers were gathered in one location weilding pitchforks and signs with messages such as "No Viet-Cong ever called me a ginger". Under pressure the White House responded by offering the protestors some ginger ale and a government funded private spaceship to fly them back to their home planet. The gingers deemed this peace offering unsatisfactory and demanded their food rations be increased to 3 potatoes each per day. At one stage a senior ginger protester seemed to demand voting rights although this was later retracted. Months passed however with the Government refusing to back down and the movement lost momentum. By September 1994 only two dozen protesters remained camped on the front lawn of the Pentagon. Morale was clearly eroded by December that year as the remaining tents were destroyed in the Zebra stampede of '94 and the gingers returned to their natural habitats.
[edit] ginger terms
- 1.coppertop
- 2.duracell
- 3.ginger
- 5.orange
- 7.George Saunders (international idiot with a big red screwdriver)
- 8.firecrotch
- 9.carrot top
- 10.minger
- 11.ginger nut
- 12.Vampire porn stars
- 13.ranga tan
- 14.simply red
- 15.FOT (f***in orange thing)
- 16.carrot
- 17.genga
- 18.vampires
- 19.Ranga
- 20.Ronald McDonald
- 21.flame head
- 22.Thunder (rednuht backwards)
- 23.Ronald Mcdonald's love child
- 24.Satan's love child
- 25.Dead
- 26.Branga (When they Try to dye their hair Brown)
- 27.Socially Unaccepted
- 28.Fanta Pants
- 29.RED
- 30.tess
- 31.Bunsen Burners
- 32. Steve
- 33. Ginger Nut Biscuits
- 34. Ginger Nad Biscuits
- 35. Wranger
[edit] Did you know?
- The Harry Potter Books are factualy inconcrect. I mean, a ginger with TWO friends?!!! Honestly.
- Redheads are absolutely amazing in bed, you haven't lived til you've slept with one.
- Nobody likes Ginger males. Unless he's a multi millionaire like Chris Evans, he doesn't struggle for pussy.
- The chances of spawning a red are actually LESS if you mate with a red! Ain't genetics weird?!
- Redhead females have a much higher sex drive than other chicks, so they have the capacity to lure more unsuspecting males than normals.
- A sign that a redhead is in an extreme state of anger is when the head begins to give off smoke, stand on its ends, wave and make strange crackling noises.
- Red pubic hair is finer and more silky than any other colour, and therefore less visible when stuck in your teeth.
- Despite the obvious contradiction, redheads have no more red blood cells than normal people.
- Redhead pubes are better than shaved pussy
[edit] See Also
 | Fundamental Stereotypes |
| Americans | Armenians | Asian People | Assholes | Babies | Beatniks | Black People | Brits | Brunettes | Canadians | Captains | Cavemen | Chavs | Communists | Dirty Sanchezes | Dolphins | Emos | Feminists | Filipinos | Furries | Gays | Geeks | Gypsies | Hippies | Heroes | Japanese | Jehovah's Witnesses | Jews | Lesbos | Men | Minsters | Mormons | Nazis | Nerds | Ninjas | Pirates | Ninja Pirates | Poets | Politicians | Psychics | Redheads | Retards | Thieves | Toddlers | Trekkies | Vegetarians | White People | Women | You |
