Give a shit

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This page was originally sporked from (just about everywhere, really, but we don't really give a shit).

After a long consultation with "the man in the street", researchers are still unable to provide an answer to the question, "who gives a shit?"

Throughout the history of everything ever, there have been questions which arose that proved to be unanswerable.^[1] Man has always attempted to understand nature's phenomenon and comprehend the world around him, but to no avail. Thus far, he has found that the world around him may be more complex than his tiny little brain could ever imagine. And so it is these "unanswerable questions" that present themselves and serve as a constant reminder that we are all extremely stupid. But who gives a shit?

This page is not about such a question. But, the question has existed for hundreds of years, and up until now, has baffled philosophers and average people everywhere. The question I'm talking about, of course, is:

In turn, there are numerous answers to this question, such as:

If you wish to read more about the dynamics of this vague and understandably confusing term known as "give[ing] a shit", then read on. If not, go to this shock site.

[edit] Analysis & History

Upon first glance, the phrases themselves seems vulgar and obscene. Wikipedia notes the word "shit" as being of Old Norse origin and denoting feces. Today, feces is often regarded as very disgusting and unpleasant, and so "giving a shit" would mean one would give the lowest amount of attention or concern about, considering again the value of shit.

However, if we reverse the clock a few hundred years to the 12th century, we find that the word "shit" had a somewhat similar meaning to today's use of the term.

Just as the Romans had used human urine to wash clothes (due to its acidity of course), early Scandinavians had used shit (skīta) to make various things, including but not limited to:

• Thick paints
• Make-up
• Pottery
• Jewelry
• Medicine

A Biblical phrase from the Book of Job when Job wouldn't stop crying.

The value of shit is estimated to have been greater than the value of gold, and therefore shit made a great yet expensive gift. For Yule, shit sales could be found at every Viking market; it wasn't uncommon, however, for people to make their own shit.

[edit] Diffusing Languages

The original Old Norse definition of "giving a shit" was probably lost sometime in the 10th century. In the midst of pillaging and raping North American natives, the Vikings also traded. However, the native Inuit and Beothuk didn't understand the value of shit. And so, from their uncivilized and barbaric ways, they referred to the Viking tradesmen's offer of shit to bear pelts as "giving shit", or "giving a shit". Because the Natives refused to trade pelts for shit, Vikings began to stop offering shit in trades, and it became a well-known Nordic phrase:

Viking that gives shit to primitive Natives gets nothing.^[2]

And so the value of shit declined amongst the North American Vikings, and later, Scandinavia. Eventually, alternatives to shit were found such as clay, mercury, and lead. From this literal translation, we can see how the current English saying of "giving a shit" has become, and of course the question, "who gives a shit?".

The present-day meaning of the question "who gives a shit?" quite simply means, "who cares?". It is usually in regards to an action that might be considered of little importance. Below is an example of the question used in dialogue.

Bob: My wife died.

John: Who gives a shit?

Or in another context:

Bob: My wife died, but who gives a shit?

The answer, in this case, is nobody. The question is meant to be obvious and rhetorical. When an individual asks, "who gives a shit?", it is apparent that nobody gives a shit. So in summation, the question is used to point out the fact that nobody gives a shit.

[edit] Usage

It can also be used as a statement in many tenses. See below:

[edit] Preterite

Bob: My wife died, and nobody gave a shit.

-------------------

John: I didn't give a shit about his dead wife.

[edit] Present

Bob: My wife died, but I don't give a shit.

-------------------

John: I don't give a shit about his dead wife.

[edit] Future

Bob: When my wife dies, I won't give a shit.

-------------------

John: I won't give a shit about his dead wife.

[edit] Interjection

As an interjection, it can be used in a variety of creative ways, usually to express apathy, discontent, or anger. The most common are obviously a loud "I don't give a shit!" or a "Nobody gives a shit!".

[edit] In Other Languages

[edit] Historical Relevance

There have been many historical events which were influenced or directly caused by people giving a shit or not giving a shit:

[edit] Uses in popular culture

[edit] Film

• In the 1997 film, Titanic, when Fleet in the crow's nest calls below, he is asked by Moody (the man who answers the phone)
  

  

  "I don't give a shit."
  what he sees. Fleet answers, "Iceberg right ahead!" to which Moody says, "I don't give a shit!" and abruptly hangs up.
• In the 1999 film, The Matrix, Agent Smith turns to Neo and exclaims that, "Hmm, Mr. Anderson [Neo]... you disappoint me," to which Neo replies, "I don't give a shit."
• In the 2000 film Cast Away, Tom Hanks' character turns to his befriended volleyball Wilson, and says, "My tooth really hurts," to which Wilson replies, "Nobody gives a shit."
• The movie "Monsters, Inc." (2001) received heavy criticism in the line of dialogue in which Mike asks to borrow Sully's "odorant", to which Sully says, "Yeah, I got...uh...smelly garbage or old dumpster?" Mike then replies, "I don't give a shit."
• In the 2001 film, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Gandolf tells Frodo to keep the ring to himself, and to not put it on, or else Sauron will use his armies to hunt him down and kill him for the ring. Frodo promptly responds "I don't give a shit".

[edit] Television

• In the 2003 series of Teletubbies the world-renowned children's TV program, the weirdo hoover thing went up to Dipsy and sucked his arm. The sun (aka retard child) said, and I quote "For God's sake, I don't give a shit".

[edit] Literature

• In John Steinback's 1937 novel, "Of Mice and Men", Curley's wife says to Crooks, "You watch your place, nigger. I could get you strung up on a tree so easy, it ain't even funny," to which Crooks replies, "I don't give a shit."
• In Karl Marx's third volume of "Die Deutsche Ideologie", Marx writes: "The language comes into being, like consciousness, from the basic need, from the scantiest intercourse with other human. But nobody gives a shit."
• In William Shakespeare's famous play "Macbeth", when confronted with the death of his wife, and too caught up giving MacDuff a good arse-kicking, Macbeth replies "I don't give a shit". He dies soon after.^[5]

[edit] Music

• Tech-metal band Daughters releases a song titled, "I Don't Give A Shit About Wood, I'm Not A Chemist" on their 2003 album "Canada Songs".
• Both G.G. Allin and D.O.A. have released songs titled, "I Don't Give A Shit".
• Rap is full of songs using the expression, but there's too many to name. That, and we don't give a shit.

[edit] Citations

1. ↑ "What's the meaning of life?", "Where is heaven?", "What was with that movie Koyaanisqatsi?"
2. ↑ Or the old Chinese proverb: "Man who gives a shit in form of burning brown paper bag is not a man; he is a twelve-year old boy."
3. ↑ Don't use this one in Spain. You might be arrested.
4. ↑ Might actually mean "I like long walks on the shit". I forget. My French is a bit rusty.
5. ↑ Maybe from not giving a shit, but most probably because he had a seizure. I eat dishwasher tablets. Do you like bananas too?

[edit] See also

• Tourettes Guy
• Bullshit
• I don't give a damn.
• Nobody cares