Globalization

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Accurate computer generated simulation of a fully globalized world. Any similarities with a demonic bird laughing at us is a coincidence.

“The U.S. calls it 'surprise sex.' We call it 'rape.'”

~ Mexican Farmer on Globalization

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1 Overview
2 How to recognize the disease
3 Common Symptoms
4 See Also

[edit] Overview

Globalization is a highly epidemic disease (Caused, some say, due to excessive exposure to Capitalism©)that causes the destruction of all forms of culture, and the formation of a single monoculture based on the "American Way of Life™". For example, if you live in Mexico and want to eat a burito, you'll have to go to Italy, in a Indian restaurant, where a British waiter will take your order and a French chef will prepare it. Then you'll have to eat it while hearing awful American music in a Japanese stereo.

Sometimes this is used on AP US essays, however, most students have absolutely ZERO idea of what it is. So what is globalization?

[edit] How to recognize the disease

You can easily recognize if your community/family/country has been infected by Globalization by performing simple tests:

Watch television and compare the ratio of American made movies and series to those of your country. If there is more American made things add one to the total points, if not subtract two, if you live in a third world country (specially Latin America), don't bother, just add two.
Go to the nearest MacDonald's. Start walking to the second nearest. Count the steps, if its less than fifty, add five, if it's more than fifty and less than one hundred, add three, if there is no other MacDonald's nearby, add one, if you don't know what a MacDonald's is, subtract five hundred.
If you eat more fast food than real food, add three, if not, subtract one.
If you drink more Coke than anything else, add three, if you drink more "soft" drinks of other brands more than juices and/or coke, add one, if you drink more juices than anything else, subtract five.
If you have access to internet, add three trillion thousand.

After the calculations are done, compare the results to the following table (x is where your result should go):

infinity<x<-500= The place where you live is not globalized at all! Congratulations. On the other hand, I pity you.
-500<x<-5= The place where you live is going through a "development" process. Which means they are allowing other nation's crap enter yours. Be afraid, be VERY afraid.
-5<x<5= You know how globalization is, and the place where you live is already in process of infection, but still have some culture. Enjoy while you can.
5<x<3.10^10= The place where you live is succumbing under the heavy effects of globalization's most dangerous phase. Don't worry, you won't even remember you had a unique culture in about ten years.
3.10^10<x<infinity= We are so happy to have Internet. It is a very good thing. Very nice, happy thing.

[edit] Common Symptoms

New China's flag. The last "Communist" country in the world want us to know they mean business.

You can say either "software", "hardware", "web" or "internet" to an infected person that doesn't speak English and he\she will not have a blank dumb look on the face.
If it is a third world country, the great majority of people have a strange compulsion to work in foreign companies, where they are paid a little more than in national companies but a lot less than what the companies would pay for people of their own country.
If it is a first world country, the great majority of the jobs is taken by Illegal aliens and others underpaid foreign losers.
People start caring about who is the president of the United States (although that's not their fault, see next symptom).
Infected people become part of the happy american family, and think their great patriarch (see previous symptom)can tell them what to do.
Hollywood movies are strangely compelling.
The ratio of ads on any information medium raises in a geometric scale every three years.