Goat
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“Yea.. I fuck goat in asshole”
~ Samuel Ritter on Goats
- Holy holy holy! Suum Caprique!
Goats are distant relations to Yuni and Yufa they usually said OOOOOOOTEMTUUUU live in YUNANI with black background and a nasty face whos ngidam sixpack dragons. They were found on August 17th, 1911 (Before Paul McCartney destroyed the world). The goat is often between one and fifteen feet tall when stood on its hind legs. The goat is notorious for eating anything it sees. Stories have been told that they has even eaten small children and dogs. Beware these dangerous creatures, they bite. Goats have been also known to grow totally radical goatees and there are some males (and females) today model themselves after.
Goats are excellent hunters as they are descendants of dragons. Their front legs are extended, making it easier for attacking prey. Their sense of hearing is astronomical, as they can hear everything within a twenty-kilometer radius (12.4274238 miles).
Goats are Flatulent, leaving nothing of their prey...not even Testicles, making them the fifth deadliest animal (but only on Wednesdays).
If you manage to find a goat, which is tough since most of them were wiped out in the Goat Purge of 1948, hold on to it. They fetch a good price on the black market.
Additionally, don't milk female goats on Wednesdays, as it is one of the Seven Deadly Sins.
Goats also play an important role in the Boy Band Al Qaeda's Initation Rites. See Al Qaeda Initiation Rights.
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[edit] Location
Goats are located in remote regions of northern Canada and the Jewish concentration camps in Svalbard. This is pretty much their main breeding grounds and pretty much explains why northern Canada is desolate. Occasionally, goats will try to migrate to Greenland. The outcome is never good. As this is Where the Charm Quarks from the Creation of the Universe are mostly found to breed. Due to the development of pneumatic goat launchers, goats are sometimes located in orbit, craps to them for being fired. However, goats love Nepal more than any other country on earth!
[edit] Breeding Habits
Goats have the tendency to attempt to breed with bens. The outcome is never good, but is commonly known as the goatree. Goats breed with each other, trees similar to the Really Big Tree and with Jasperillium. A goat-50 cent hybrid often occurs in certain areas of the rappers garden. Humans and goats get a lot of pleasure from wild goat sex. It usually ends badly, with the human lying in the back yard with a swollen penis, a black eye, an raw ass and a toothless grin.
[edit] Habitat
Goats have the tendency to defend their territory from trees. The outcome is never good. Sometimes they resort to uncontrolled violence and acts of pure vandalism. Goats are therefore dangerous for the environment.
[edit] Population and Living Conditions
Goats are known to live in large quads, which roam the tundra and live under elm trees.
The selling of goats is a tried, tested, patented and altogether foolproof method of avoiding the psychotic rampages of Medea. It is also a good way quickly score some cash.
There is also a saying which goes, "The goat that a sad man catches, gives him no joy." This is probably true.
Goats have been known to frequent opium dens in Sweden, while eating french fries with Irish sheep.
Perhaps the most famous goat is the one that lives with Jamaican Jesus.
The first human insemination of a goat was performed by Jordan Smith, the couple were married soon after in Las Vegas.
[edit] Prey
Goats' favorite prey is Americans, as they favor a Cholesterol-rich diet.
When goats attack, they hoof their prey in the knees, bringing it closer to the ground. Once downed, the goats will then scalp their prey with their sharp teeth. After the scalping, the goats will rip a body apart then devour it in seconds. It also eats dung from French Canadians and loves cats.
[edit] Education & Occupations
Contrary to popular belief, most goats attend Ivy League colleges in their formative years. And although no goat in recent memory has ever held a job, most of them aspire to be lumberjacks. Though, they are not particularly good at this vocation, as having three legs is a hindrance, and since the vast majority of lumber buyers in Canada are French Canadian, they have no one to barter with. Goats are known to panic and faint when they see an opened umbrella, closed umbrellas attract them on the other hand. Fainting goats are used as sacraficial diversions. No shit, either - wolf comes along, goat gets scared, BOOM, dead goat. Pretty funny, actually.
[edit] Terrorism
Many , infact up to 3 Goats are involved in the terrorist/peaceful protest group, the Goats Liberation Front, they have led a campaign of terror agaist such high brow celebrities as Terry Wogan.
Noob: >:O
Goat: :S ?
Noob: !!
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..../.O.O.\....
....\..^../.. NOOB..
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[edit] Knowledge an learning of goats
Renowened for their fighting prowess, Marques of Queenbury added Goats to his legendary rules making Goats an essential part of man-to-man combat. The reason for inclusion of a goat is a mystery, but it's value is unquestioned.
In everyday life, goats are constantly learning new things. The goat mind always looks for the simplest way to complete a task, continuously finding better ways to accomplish the task at hand. This increases goat's knowledge substantially every day. Their minds are at work everywhere, be it work or relationships. Relationships are the more challenging side to learn. Getting inside the other person’s head is the tricky part, but it teaches the best way to interact with that person. Learning is not limited to observing or reading about something; sometimes it is necessary to experience the true feeling of something in order to acquire the skill needed to do it properly. In the short story “Saturday Climbing”, W.D. Goatgardson illustrates how we all must learn in order to continue along life’s road. Goatgardson presents this through the Father, who is trying to learn about his daughter; and through the daughter who is trying to learn about life. His idea is also developed through the extended metaphor that is the rock face.
The goat in this story, Goaty, eventually learns that he must let his goatie go free, so that she might be able to learn and grow as well. Goaty learns through desperation and resentment, from his daughter and his class, that keeping his daughter captive is proving nothing. He suspects she is smoking marijuana and that she might be involved with a guy, but he cannot learn how to deal with it. In the end, he realizes how antagonizing he has been, and gives his girl the slack she needs to continue scaling life as if it were a mountain.
From the daughter, Moira’s, point of view, her father is keeping her from learning or seeing anything in the world. Moira learns how to cope with her father, and admits that she isn’t totally innocent. She realizes that in order for to go where she wishes; she must tell him what she’s doing. It may not be what he wants for her, but it’s her choice and he has to trust her with it. Moira also learns to overcome her resentment for her father by going with him and learning to rock climb. She does it not only because of the guys watching her, but because she knows she has to do it for herself.
The last example of comprehension or new things is in the climbing. When the two climb the rock, it is possible to compare it to life. In the second paragraph the daughter “…let out the golden line of rope that joined them.” The rope then went slack, and Barry went into a depression. Then with strain, he stood up and pondered his next move. This was describing his climb, but it also portrays his relationship with his daughter perfectly. In her younger years, his daughter was close to him. That is the golden rope. When the rope goes slack, it signifies how he became lax and the relationship crumbled. He then goes into a depression and doesn’t know what to do. He had his revelation in the classroom when one of his students intoned the truth of his relationship with his daughter. This makes him stand up, and then he is stuck wondering whether to let his daughter do what she needs to, or keep her with him. The author also calls the cliff deceptive, and describes it as having large, easy to use handholds at the beginning, and then slowly they got smoother, smaller and farther apart. It then says that pride kept him from going back, but in life, desire can not cause one to return things to they way they once were. When the daughter finally decides that she wants to lead, it represents the shift in power: the father is letting go of his only daughter.
All these hidden hints point at one main idea, and that is how things in life do change or grow or learn new things. The father does discover the truth about what he needs to do, the daughter uncovers her true potential and what she is allowed to do, and the rock face teaches the facts in life. We are constantly in motion, like it or not, and it will always stay that way, or considering how we always change, perhaps what we do may shift yet again.
[edit] See Also
- Mountain Goat
- Goat Se, the national martial art of Uganda
- Laser Goat
[edit] External links
[edit] See you starside
Test Your Knowledge of Goat Anatomy
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