Gogol Bordello

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“I'd Gogol his Bordello...”

~ Oscar Wilde on Gogol Bordello

Gogol Bordello is the most supreme band in the field of New York Ukrainian punk rock. They are not so premium with english, and often must consult their seeing eye bitch to tell which city they go to next (though do not have the worry, they are not blind, they just think they are). They like to go hipity hop around the world, and make their underground gypsie punk, and have you ware purple as you go and follow.

"Why you ware purple?" you say. Well, answer is simple. Even though song titled as such is not as funky-groovy as other song, it stand out because it's relation to former member Oscar Wilde. Oscar Wilde was crazy member of band, but he was a fag-muffin, and he wrote crazy song encouraging other to use their supreme penises to stick in anushole of other man, which got shortened to "Start Waring Purple, Bitch". Eugene Hütz was not pleased with this, so he said "Oscar, you are supreme duchebag, go fuck yourself." He did not listen, and instead fucked goat in Ukrainian tradition. He got away with this, but when he tried it on seeing eye bitch, dogs were barking, and he was cought. He proclaimed that in your time it was not a crime, but he still went to jail where he had a very not supreme time.

[edit] Eugene Hütz's Moustache

Is suspected that lead singer Eugene Hütz get his distinctive handlebar mustache after he took a walk on his backyard in his homeland Ukraine, site of the great failure Chernobyl explosion(part of Russia's "Let's See What We Can't Put a Nuclear Reactor into" Program). After that he became refugee, and used his mustache to store food and scare away hobbits, but when he shaved it for the movie "Everything is Illuminated" Elijah Wood came out from the shire to only to discover he sucked at life. It was only when Gogol Bordello Sicked the seeing eye bitch on the hobbits that this stopped.

Another mustache theory is that Hutz was inspired to grow a mustache after meeting Sal Fasano when Gogol Bordello was opening for Fasano's band, Sal Fasano and the Lighting Technicians. Hutz was amazed that Fasano could play the drums and sing while his mustache played guitar and bass. After a stirring rendition of Fasano's oft covered song "Smells Like Teen Spirit," Hutz was convinced that he must grow a mustache. Hutz figured that he could at least teach his mustache to play the guitar for him. Sadly, this didn't work out. Fasano and Hutz are on good terms, but their mustaches are not. Fasano's mustache is known to ridicule Hutz's, calling it degrading names like "Little Dog" and "A Ginger Kid's Wet Dream."