Goku

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Goku.

Goku after "going" Super Sayan.

“I could take him.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Goku

“His power level is over nine thousaaaaaaaaand!!!!!”

~ Vegeta on Goku

“He's really sexy without his shirt on.”

~ Picollo on Goku

NoSonOfMine (Son) Goku is the super-sexy Saiyan second son of Batman. He is capable of gaining great strength and speed by powering up to become a being with ultimate power, blond hair, and blue eyes, the Super Saiyaho. His quests are documented in the critically acclaimed manga written by Akira Toriyama, called Dragon Ball, as well as the later anime adaptation of it, and it's sequel series, Dragonball Z. Dragon Ball was 632,000 voulmes of 400 pages each. The Dragon Ball Series ran for an estimated 9,320 episodes. The Dragon Ball Z series, well... It is segmented into 'sagas,' which each discuss a random villain who is somehow even more powerful than the last one, who was already the strongest creature in the universe next to Alectus Carnicus. Goku usually takes no longer than 1000 episodes to defeat one of said fearsome foes. The total number of episodes, well...that's easy, 672,274,971,324,811,122,690,234 and 1/2. It should also be noted that several thousand of these episodes consist entirely of a close up of Goku's face as he powers up. Notably, Goku's catchphrase, "AAAAAAAAARGGGAAAAGH!, is delivered by him or other characters at least once every episode for 20 of its 30-minute air time.

He is not to be confused with Gokuo, a common Mandarin cooking sauce frequently used in the basting of giant apes.

[edit] History

Goku was born on the Planet Vegetable and sent to Earth moments before the planet ejaculated. After he arrived on Earth, Goku lost his memory and was found by an old man named Son Gohan, who beat him furiously. As the series progressed, we witness many adventures and conflicts that occur to Goku and his friends. They found some balls in a sack and rubbed them until a magical dragon arose from the sack, swaying back and forth demanding, something in some non-existant language.

[edit] Shirt Removal

It is a fact that Goku cannot win a fight with his shirt fully in-tact. Goku is not allowed to remove his own shirt however, as it must be beaten off of him. This is because Goku is a peaceful person, and never wishes to escalate the fight. Self-removal of the shirt is acceptable, if part of the shirt has already been singed or torn. This happens when Goku has 'no other option' and is the constitutional grounds for 'getting serious.' Goku is also allowed to become so saiyan-ish that he gets hella muscular and his shirt just gets blown to bits.

"Shirtless Saiyan" is actually the most advanced form of power that a Saiyan can reach, even more so than Super Saiyaho Level 1337. It was first discovered by Goku in the Room of Fun Times, while sparring with John Cena. John Cena stole the technique and used it to create a tear in the space-time fabric of the room. Consequently, this caused his time to be now. John Cena then escaped the chamber and began his career as a professional monkey trainer.

[edit] Facts

• Goku used to work for Spongebob until they had a falling out involving Krabby patties and Patrick.
• Goku is the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and the Omega, the ftw and the wtf.
• Goku's power level is well over nine thousand.
• Goku has actually died more times than Tupac
• Goku has a "power slide" technique in which he can avoid being punched without being animated.
• Goku hopes his body can take it.
• Goku is the half brother of Donkey Kong, making him Diddy Kong's surrogate mother.
• Goku fakes his death every season because he's afraid of his wife.
• Goku likes to take his time getting to a battle using excuses (ie. riding a long snake, acting like he's hurt and recovering from STDs, boning a jacuzzi) and have his friends get their ass kicked for days and go through major agony, just so he'll be the dramatic hero and kick the villain's ass just before they destroy the world because every villain is apparently the strongest being in the universe.
• Goku once traversed the universe in search of Spock because Spock owed him Jesus's love, dammit.
• Goku spends more money on hair dye and spray then any other movie star, and blames the bill on his so called "Super Saiyan Transformation". The dye is expensive because it magically changes color every time Goku screams and flexes his muscles sexy-like.
• He would cheat on his wife Chi-Chi with Master Roushi, but he is aware that she will kick his ass.
• Normal people make Chuck Norris jokes, but Chuck Norris makes Goku jokes.
• Goku has starred in over 1,000 pornographic web mangas with fellow rectal-pluggas Piccolo and Vegeta, in addition to (OH YEAH!) having hideously vulgar spanking sessions with his son, Son Gohan. (Not to be confused with Son Son Gohan).