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[edit] Overview

A spin-off of the popular Google Earth, Google Military, was developed in nineteen-eighty-twelve by the Belgian branch of the then non-existent Google corporation. Meant for widespread use, the Google military program was in essence the same as Google Earth, but with the addition of a button labeled "Call in Air Strike". A later version of the program would also include a "Nuke" button and the president of Belgium was quoted as saying:

“I [think that] Go[ogle Military is the best product] to [ever hit] the market! [I'm buying twelve] on Saturday[!]”

~ That president guy on Google Military

The technology was created in response to widespread complaints from unsatisfied Google customers, many of whom felt that the previous versions of Google Earth had simply lacked the ability to PWWN N00BS HARDCORE. The company was hard struck by this gross oversight, and nearly went bankrupt until a clever and forward-thinking employee finally came up with Google Military as a way to make Google finally T0T477Y R0XX0RZ SOME N()0BS!!1!!oneone!!!2!!

Shortly after release, the product came under fire by critics, who called it "dangerous", "unethical" and in few extreme cases "fat". However, studies have clearly shown that Google Military is, in fact, crucial to a child's learning experience and actually less dangerous, with average use, than everyday doomsday devices such as giant lasers in space, gravity-reversal guns and George W. Shrub.

[edit] Development

Developed by the Jews, Google Military was envisioned by American teens, who, after just having played a couple games of , were still in the mood and looking to "Pwn some 867-5309" (it is still unknown how the 5309 was pronounced). They went on Google Earth and, finding a disturbing lack of bombing abilities to "roxxorz" the neighboring China, made contact with those in the Google corporation. After some deliberation and just a bit of pointless bickering, plans were made to develop "Google Military". The group of gamers promised to get a "mod team" together, and Google left the project alone until it was finished.

Production soon got together and, after a couple of minutes in Photoshop, the basic template had been created. The work on Google Military, in the end, only took about 3 weeks. However, the nerds then had a party at their workplace to celebrate the new product. Five people are still missing, presumed dead. During the party, vast amounts of alcohol were consumed, which resulted in the loss of most of the people's brains. In the end, it was deemed a success, although it took several Reverends, and in the end a large fire to cleanse the workplace. Reverend Brackets was confined to a mental asylum for an indefinite amount of time. After 4, the socially inept, aesthetically displeasing, and quite hungover freaks of nature handed the program back to Google, who then took the product and sold it as their own. When questioned about how it worked, the programmers were only able to assert that they were "stone drunk".