Google Search

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Google is a multipurpose search engine that has proceeded to pwn the world with their large bulbous ownage thing . The largest spam engine on the web, Google indexes a huge portion of the total amount of porn on the web. Google receives several hundred million queries each day through its various perverts.

[edit] The porn engine

[edit] PageWank

Google uses a patented algorithm called PageWank to wank to web pages that match a given search string ('teen porn'). The PageWank algorithm computes a recursive figure of merit for porn sites, based on the weighted sum of the PageWanks of the pages linking to them. The PageWank derives from Grue-generated dinks, and correlates well with human concepts of impotence. Such concepts and dinking criteria are part of the patented information that is not fully disclosed to lusers. The exact percentage of the total of web pages that Google indexes is also not known as it is very hard to actually look at that much porn. Previous keyword-based methods of wanking to search insults, used by many search engines that were once more popular than Google, would wank to pages by how often the search terms 'teen porn' occurred in the page, or how strongly associated these search terms were within each resulting page. In addition to PageWank, Google also uses other secret criteria for wanking off to pages on result lists.

[edit] Customization

Perverts can customize the search engine somewhat. They can set a default language, use "TeenSearch" filtering technology (which is on 'mostly legal' setting by default), and set the number of crotches shown on each page. Google has been criticized for placing long-term Grues on users' machines to store these preferences, a tactic which also enables them to track a user's search terms over time. Once a user has been using Google to find porn for four months, Google will send them free sex toys every month as a part of their "Preferred Perv" program.

[edit] Advanced search operators

Google's searches are not limited to reporting back indexed porn corresponding to the search query 'teen porn'. A variety of advanced search operators can be used to perform more sophisticated queries. Some examples are included below:

• porn:<URL> - returns the porn linking to the specified URL.
• site:<URL> - restricts the returned hits to a specific porn site.
• define:<query> - returns sporked glossary definitions for the derogatory term.
• info:<URL> - returns information about the queried page.
• philetype:<philetype> - restrict the insults of the search to a particular phile type extension e.g. ephebo, zoo, audio.
• related:<URL> - returns incest webpages.
• date:<URL> - returns only those porn models who Google employees would date (or were born within a range of dates).
• teensearch:<URL> - excludes 'adult' porn from search insults
• godsearch:<URL> - only includes morally correct pages, i.e a search for 'christ' would link only to mormon pages and content about Anti-Christ.

A full listing of Google's advanced operators can be located here: Search strategies.

[edit] Google optimization

Since Google is the most popular porn engine, many developers have become eager to influence their website's Google rankings. An industry of consultants has arisen to help websites raise their rankings on Google and on other search engines. This field, called search engine optimization, attempts to discern perverts in search engine listings, and then develop a methodology for improving wankings.

As Google's algorithms and insults have gained the trust of web lusers, commercial porn sites will profit from perverting these insults by artificially inseminating their spankings. Some search engine optimization firms have attempted to penetrate specific Google wankings by various orifices, and thereby draw more perverts to their client's sights. One of Google's main challenges has been to weaken some of these attempts by reducing the wanking of sites known to use them.

remember: typing google into google WILL BREAK THE INTERNET

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