Gorillaz
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A gorilla (plural form: gorillaz) is a band/primate. They all wish to be angels, because they aren't. They are real, and they look real. They are perceived to be cartoons to the human eye, but if looked at in a photo where the human eyes are not looking directly at them they show their true form as real people.
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[edit] Members
All though all members were created at the same time, some are older than others (don’t ask me how this is mathematically possible; you need to watch Primer to understand).
Noodle: She is from the Mushroom Kingdom. When she first arrived she would only eat 'Noodles' and could speak perfect English, hence the name Noodle. Actually Noodle always knew her first name but it was too stupid to be consider a real name. She was shipped to England in a Fed-ex box by her gay father so that she would not be eaten by her mother. Originally she was meant to be shipped to Luigi's Mansion to save Mario. But was delivered to the Gorillaz Kong studios by mistake. She joined the band when she was 10 years old, she is now 17. She has for a pet a chain-smoking monkey called Mike who always wears a fez and eyes Russel. She may have a crush on Murdoc, 2D, Russel, and many other fictional characters but does not care.
2D: Named after the two dents in his eyes that Murdoc gave him. Got his messed up eyes acquired from having a car bounced off his head twice by Murdoc. 2D thinks his hair is purple, possibly mistaking his head for his badly dyed pubis. He has 23 kids or more all of which are legitimate and more than three quarters may in fact belong to Murdoc. 2-D has a very long list of fears they are, light, Hello Kitty, Murdoc in a thong, Murdoc behind the wheel, Murdoc in every way and Russel when he's hungery.
Russel: The only hill billy guy in the group, it his job is to turn on the drum machine. Much like Cyborg(just without the cool thingy in the arm) from Teen Titans, he receives no fan attention whatsoever with the exception of India's banjo community.
Murdoc: His real name is Bruce Banner otherwise known as the Incredible Hulk. He plays the E string on his bass mixed with his G string which he often lets other people run their hands over, he is a devout Christian from Stoke on Trent. One day 2-D snapped under all the senseless harassment from Murdoc and broke his nose with a shovel. Causing him to developed many alter egos, all of which having far more talent than him. Such as Keith Richards, David Bowie, Gene Simmons and Robbie Williams. He has a million kids as he commonly claims "(insert name here)? I had them, wish I hadn't".
Paula Kracker: ex-member of Gorillaz, wants to kill Noodle because she has no life and is in crack, she may have almost killed Noodle with cleverly disguised crack in her noodle soup, however Noodle is immune to all forms of poison including weedkiller, crack, nuclear waste and tofu. Definalty tofu.
Del: A blue ghost thing with clown lips and a knack for spouting clever nursery rhymes to a beat. He is currently on vacation in Iqaluit, Nunavut, because Russel didn't want to wear the yellow trucker hat where Del resided anymore because it itched his sensitive scalp. Russel now wears a weird inverted red cup with a tassel attached to it, like the thing the monkey wore in Aladdin. Russel's currently possessed by a violent sea monkey who inhabits said red cap.
[edit] Albums
The first self titled album featured 57 tracks. Two thirds of these tracks either featured 2D dropping his microphone in a puddle of urine or Murdoc throwing his bass and 2D's keyboard down a flight of stairs. The rest of the tracks featured random rappers with speech impediments. Their most notable song off of this album is "Left Foot Suzuki Method," where there are noises of goats kicking 2D in the face while Murdoc sings the Spanish opera Que Pasa Contigo Del Monotonista in German, the opening sounds for the song consist of Russel blowing bubbles in his milk glass (Communists would say that he is hitting a bong). Noodle also would occasionally let Russel turn the guitar on while the drum machine would break down half way.
The second album was titled Go Record Everyone But Ourselves featured--suprise!--more random rappers as well as unknown singers in a majority of the songs and washed up movie stars in "Fire Coming Out Of A Monkey's Ass", and the choir from a home for mentally ill children in the song "Dirty Sanchez" and a weird song called "Kids With Guns" which has something to do with some children of the mafia apparently.
[edit] Videos
The videos are usually directed by a child on meth and most often feature the band standing around looking bored. It has flying lighthouses, too. Also makes millons of fans worldwide panic and riot like with the video "The Tomorrow" Also one video "DARE" shows a 14 year old Noodle dancing in rather creepy way with a big head looking at her like eye candy. Noodle didn't tell the other three because she didn't want them to ruin it how they ruin the video for Feel Good Inc.
- Clint WestFood - A song about western food tasting like Smoked Pot
- 19/2000 - The Gorillaz take a big travel in time, but why?
- Feel Like A Frog Inc. - An Incorporation about frogs that Gorillaz never got round to making.
- Don't you DARE take my acid - The Gorillaz mention about a rehabilation person THEY asked to come round, and how this person steals their drugs
- Dirty Harry Potter DVD - They sing about how their Harry Potter DVDs are in a bad condition.
- El Manana - Noodle is killed.
[edit] Noodle's Death
In 2007, George W. Bush, having a childhood grudge against Noodle due to an accident in Japan involving him, Noodle, and fifteen sumo wrestlers (thus, explaining his low I.Q), sent helicopters to destroy the flying windmill she is on. Luckily, Noodle escaped the windmill unharmed. The band filed a lawsuit against the president for being such a stupid bitch and received 20,000 dollars in the process. Bill Clinton described Bush's actions worse than firing missiles on Disneyland.
[edit] Movie
There is a movie in the works. Terry Gilliam is planned to be the directer. When asked how he will make the film, Gilliam said that he plans to throw 2 billion dollars off of the Chrysler Tower, get drunk, and then puke on a reel of film. 2D will die (as symbolism of Damon Albarn being a pussy and discontinuing his role in Gorillaz) and turn into a Zombie and eat Murdoc's head (who was bleedin' narcissistic bastard anyway).
It turned out this was a joke. Which is a shame because it would have been Piss funny. Even to fans.
[edit] Computer Game
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petz
[edit] Sex
Ummm... I'm not really sure why this section is here. It's not wrong to say that Noodle is probably the sexiest cartoon(looking)-teeny-bopper-Asian on the planet, but any fanboy that would be willing to say that would most likely be dismissed as a cartoonphile for admiting it. Which would be extremely embarassing, because she's only a cartoon(looking)...around 13 or 15, even Noodle does not know her real age or name for that matter.
Murdoc is a common rapist, and though he has attempted many times to rape many women, failures are more numerous than successes. He was successful in provoking 2 of 2D's girlfriends: Paula Cracker into a bathroom stall, and Rachel Stevens out the door. Murdoc also had a close encounter with Shawn Ryder in the "DARE" video. He claims it was in the script, as a "dream-sequence." When questioned why his character would have this sort of dream, the satanic bass-player beat the interviewer with a wet noodle. It seems that someone might get the idea that he has given up on his womanizing ways.
2D gets plenty of attention from the ladies, despite having a vacant blank-eyed stare, and despite that he has no clue that the end product of sexual intercourse with a woman is a baby. How does he do it?
