Grand Theft Auto: Beirut
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Grand Theft Auto: Beirut takes place in the Lebanese capital during Israel's righteous and just crusade against the evil, unarmed, and defenceless citizens of Lebanon. GTA: Beirut stars Muhammed Durka, an Islamic extremist with Iranian connections, as the protagonist. Durka must launch rockets at Israel, kill Israeli soldiers, and recruit suicide bombers in an attempt to get Israel to stop destroying his homeland.
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[edit] Characters
[edit] Mohammed Durka
The main character of GTA: Beirut, Durka is a Hezbollah commander who receives funds directly from both Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran, and Osama bin Laden of al Qaeda despite the fact that Hezbollah and al Qaeda have nothing to do with each other and actually hate each other but this is the truth because that it what the Bush administration tells us. With the funds he receives from Iran and al Qaeda, Durka is able to buy vehicles, build bombs, buy arms, and recruit young, impressionable (and stupid) teenagers for suicide bombing missions.
[edit] Mahmoud "I Wanna Jihad" Ahmadinejad
Although "I Wanna Jihad" does not make a physical appearance in the game he does, along with Osama bin Laden, remain in close contact with Durka throughout the game, giving instructions, providing funds, and reciting verses of the Koran.
[edit] Osama bin Laden
Mr. bin Laden is closely associated with both Durka, the Hezbollah movement, and the Iranian government despite being of a different Islamic sect and being their bitter enemies. He also provides Durka with financial support and intelligence. Bin Laden also provides Toyota trucks for missions. Toyota is the number one choice of vehicle for Islamic militants worldwide.
[edit] Khalid Sheik Mohammed
The master mind of the 9/11 attacks, you must break him out of a US military prison. As a reward Khalid rewards you with stockpiles of American weapons left over from the war in Afghanistan against the Soviets.
[edit] See Also
| Grand Theft Auto | ||
| Games | ||
| The Lost Games | Lego Island | Cosmo | Poop City | Tatooine | Television City | Television City 2 | Television City 3 - The Wrath Of Dob | Borat vs Bush | |
| Grand Theft Auto III era | III | San Andreas | Advance | San Andreas Stories | |
| Grand Theft Auto: We're Running Out of Ideas era | New Zealand | Toronto | Hill Valley | Theft Under A Thousand | Sunnyvale Trailer Park | Baghdad | Beirut | New Orleans | Vatican City | Vatican City Stories | Springfield | Australia | Antarctica | Grand Theft Auto: Nickelodeon City | Grand Theft Auto: Weinerville | Grand Theft Auto: Nick Rebellion | Grand Theft Auto: Somalia | |
| Currently in Production | Afghanistan | Baghdad Stories | Germany | Heaven | Jerusalem | Norway | Philippines | Santiago | Venice | |
| Non-canonical | Grand Theft Audio | Grand Theft Election: Bush v. Gore | |


