Gravitation
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Gravitation is a yaoi anime, and without a doubt, the awesomest thing since Limewire.
  Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Luigi's Mansion is an illusion, Flint Marko killed Ben Parker by accident, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!! |
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[edit] Gravitation
A show created by the Japanese in order to scare children away from gays, and hopefully to slow the spread of Super AIDS. However it was ineffective, as to be a Japanese citizen it is a prerequisite that you are at least bisexual. It lead to a reverse effect, as girls in America began to fawn over the shows characters, and spread Super AIDS in their yaoi masturbation parties. As a sidenote: while aforementioned parties may sound hot, they aren't because the chicks are either super-goth or super-fat, if not both.
[edit] Long Summary
The show starts when Shuichi decides he isn't getting any. He starts a band (and a secret intimate relationship) with his best friend, Hiro, in an attempt to gather fangirls for the purpose of brainwashing them and turning them into their evil minions with which to collect men to violently rape. What they did not realize is that their plan would never work, since Shuichi will never be a seme for as long as he lives. They name the band "Bad Luck" after consulting a Japanese to English dictionary because they wanted to give their band an English name that suited their potential. After a while, great robosexual idiot vocalist Shuichi and genius yet sexually confused/abused guitarist Hiro realized that they needed a recording contract in order to attract fangirls, a goal they did not yet know they would gain nothing from achieving. While trying to get said recording contract, super-bigshot-arrogant-bisexual-member-of-Nittle-Grasper Tohma Seguchi involves Bad Luck in a plot to make his cousin famous by forcing them to allow Suguru Fujisaki (Tohma's 16-year-old step-cousin in-law lover) to join the band. They do so on the condition that Fujisaki joins them every time they want to have kinky gay sex with plenty of bondage, insane fetishes, and rape, and although he disagrees, they let him join anyway, but they drug him every night, rape him violently, and leave him on the couch with his pants off and a beer bottle in his hand. Throughout the rest of the show, Bad Luck randomly sings crappy J-pop with completely random song titles (such as Glaring Dream, Blind Game Again, Spicy Marmalade, Smashing Blue, and Super Drive), which were chosen by their manager, Claude, who secretly hates the band and, to get back at them for sucking so badly, opens American books to random pages and says the first few words he sees when asked to suggest a song title. Interestingly enough, Shuichi always uses Claude's titles and never wonders why Claude always pulls out a book when asked for a title.
While Bad Luck sings, Shuichi goes through constant patterns of angst and elation due to his relationship with Eiri Yuki. The angst is caused by Yuki forcing Shuichi to watch him and his brother having sex, and the elation is caused by Yuki having sex with Shuichi out of boredom.
[edit] Characters
The characters in Gravitation are awesome.
[edit] Shuichi Shindou
Shuichi is a pink-haired, 10-year-old, singing bishi. He's in a band with his friend and this one really annoying guy, and they rock so much that people want to cut their balls off. Shuichi falls in love with Yuki despite the fact that Yuki hates his crappy sex, and eventually he claims to be unable to live if Yuki were to leave. So Yuki goes to Las Vegas,to become a drag queen and do every gay guy he sees. Then he goes and writes about it in his novels, and Fan girls screams on top of there lungs, betting and killing each other to get the last copy of his novels (Heh, who wouldn't?). That's just a bunch of bullshit.
[edit] Eiri Uesugi (Eiri Yuki)
Yuki is a 22-year-old romance novelist with a serious attitude and a record of homicidal behavior. When I say homicidal, I mean he killed his teacher when he was 16 because his teacher hated him but wanted to rape him anyways.
To sum it up, Yuki is a cold-hearted sexy bastard. He thinks Shuichi sucks in bed, but he pleasures him anyways. Yuki has too many girlfriends and one fiancee who hates Shuichi's guts.
[edit] Hiroshi Nakano
Hiroshi, or Hiro, as Shuichi calls him, is Shuichi's long-time friend and guitarist of their band, Bad Luck. If you don't think that name is funny, I'm going to beat you severely about the head and shoulders. Anyways, Hiro only wants Shuichi to be happy, and although he sometimes acts like his sexuality is questionable, I think it's safe to say he's gay but has a girl fetish.
[edit] Sakano (first name censored)
Sakano is the producer of Bad Luck. He's a spaz who openly worships Seguchi Tohma, but secretly, he wants to do more than just worship Tohma, if you know what I mean. That's right! I mean shine Tohma's shoes! Did you think I was talking about sex? Hahahhahahahaha you have a dirty mind!
[edit] Suguru Fujisaki
Suguru is the annoying guy who was forced to join Bad Luck. He's a genius with the keyboard, and even more of a genius in bed. He is Seguchi Tohma's cousin, and he really would like to strangle Shuichi.
[edit] Claude "K" Winchester
Claude Winchester (known as K-san because his real name isn't masculine enough) is the trigger-happy American manager of Bad Luck. He had been working with Ryuichi in America for three years, but now that they've broken up, he has decided that the members of Bad Luck are a lot sexier. K always has a gun in his hand and won't ever hesitate to shoot if it gets things accomplished. He enjoys walking down the street and killing/kidnapping and raping passersby. In America.
[edit] Tohma Seguchi
Tohma is the president of the record company NG, which Bad Luck are signed to. He is Yuki's brother-in-law, and although he's married, he secretly wants to fuck Yuki really hard. Tohma was once part of the band Nittle Grasper, which has the most insane name but makes the awesomest music. Tohma looks very much like a girl, and he always wears adorable itsy bitsy gloves.
Tohma is the evil leader of the Penguins of nii! He and his pimp clothing and pimp penguins wil converte all people in japan into badly dressed wannabe's. Tohma was depressed that he could not have Yuki as shuichi had claimed his wannabe partner, So Tohma goes off and has HOT! kinky sex with Tatsuya and Fujisaki,leading Fujisaki to get pregnate.
[edit] Sakuma Ryuichi
Although Ryuichi acts like a five-year-old, he is 31 and the vocalist of the band Nittle Grasper. He is Shuichi's fan, which is really fucked up when you think about it, because Shuichi is Ryuichi's fan. In the OVA, Ryuichi and Hiro have a little fuck session before letting Shuichi join in on the fun. Ryuichi always carries around a stuffed bunny named Kumagoro, and once, he dressed up in a bunny outfit that included bunny ears reminiscent of the Playboy bunny. Secretly a pedo.
[edit] Ukai Noriko
Noriko is the third member of Nittle Grasper. She is quite the slut and is married to an 98 year old man. She sometimes acts like Ryuichi's older sister, although everyone knows she is madly in love with him. That's too bad for her, because Ryuichi is gay.
Edit:In the manga Tatsuha,(before attempting to rape Shuichi)they have a discussion about there favorite performance of Nittle Grasper. Tatsuha, being completely Ryuichi obsessed says his favorite was when Ryuichi stripped down and had sex with Tohma on stage as an encore.
[edit] Mika Seguchi
Mika is Yuki's sister. She cares about her brother more than anything in the world, even though he is cold to her. Though she is aware that her husband Tohma is in love with her brother, she does not do anything about it as it is not-so-widely known that Mika is a huge fan of incest, and wants to have a threesome with them. However, she has given up on her brother and is now going for their father. She figures he won't try to resist because he's about to die anyways.
[edit] Tatsuha Uesugi... because good and bad things come in threes
Well, with this name I don't have to say whose brother he is. Brunette version of Yuki, Tatsuha's main goal in life is to screw Ryuichi very, very hard. He tried with Shuichi but Yuki had to make a appearance and ruin everything. A threesome would be so cool. Anyway, he's sixteen, more sexy than his brother and most of all, he's a pervert monk. Life is perfect.
[edit] Galvatron
Crazed, murderous leader of the Decepticons. Has nothing to do with this series, but his name sounds like the title, so his suing the creators.
[edit] Spoilers
Did you really think I was going to give you spoilers? Well, since you came, here's one: The text that previously occupied this spot was written by a thirteen year old lesbian, and if read, allowed Satan to enter any surrounding children's groins.
[edit] Plot Summary
Shuichi pursues Yuki, whines, declares his love, cries, puts on girl's school uniform. Yuki rejects him, insults him in monotone, but then has sex with him anyway. Then they all sing really bad J-Rock/Pop/whatever. Repeat for 13 episodes.
[edit] Fun fact
Gravitation is the official state anime of California.
