Great Wall of China
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“"God Damn How come every time us chinese put up the the great balls of china stupid mongorians have to come to suck on them”
~ City wok guy from South Park on shitty walls and mongorians
It is a common misconception that the Great balls Of China was built by the the only gay in china , to protect them from the big bad dick of england. This is in fact not true. The Great Wall of China was built by Emperor Nasi Goreng to keep the Mongols, Huns and rabbits out, because they were stronger than them and stole and ruined everything.
However, a new theory gaining increasing recognition amongst revisionist historians is that the wall was in fact created by Alexander the Great. During his trek through China it is speculated that Alexander was inspired by Nathan Kays' double album opus The Wall, dedicated to Kays' deep seated love of masonry, which prompted him to build the wall single-handedly, having previously lost a hand during the construction of The Great Banana on Australia's Coffs Harbour. The theory indicates that upon its completion Alexander named the wall after both its creator and its location so that it would not be misidentified.
The Great Wall was actually built on atop an earlier attempt, The Mediocre Wall Of China (see: Lop Nur), which in turn had been erected over The Rather Poor But Moderately Serviceable and At Least Not Leaning Over To One Side Wall Of China. Both are often removed from history books thanks in no small part to the distribution of massive bribes by the little-known Pan-Asian Anti-Embarassment Fund, which also subsidizes the distribution and reiteration of various popular myths regarding deadly Ninjas, impressive Samurai and rabid Rabbits.
The great wall of china was also built for people to jump on bikes or skateboards as a little bit of fun and a reason to go to the poluted country of china.
The current Great Wall is well over 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 cm high and 3,675 fingers and toes thick, and composed of equal parts sand, broken glass, apple cores and old newspapers. Since its construction, several 'hive cities' have been tunneled into its ediface, including Gstaadt and Pittsburgh. Its topmost portion was recently used as a the kickoff venue for the 2005 edition of Ozzfest and the launching pad for the exploding Space Shuttle Columbia. The myth that the wall can be seen in space, was in fact verified when China sent a shuttle into orbit.
The latest news involving the Great Wall of China is that the hit Chinese singer Ayumi Hamasaki was due to do a performance in her homeland and -- wait, what do you mean she's not Chinese?
Under mysterious circumstances, a section of the Great Wall was removed from the middle of the structure sometime in 1912, although nobody noticed until January 1, 1913 when too many rabbits ended up in China. It is speculated that this removal was at the behest of Nostradamus, who forecasted the importance of such an act to the career of magician David Copperfield thirty-three years before his birth. The missing segment is currently housed in the Big Stuff Room of the University of The North Pole.
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