Grover Cleveland
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
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| Order: | 22nd, 24th, and 26th President | |
| Vice President: | Hillary Clinton | |
| Term of office: | AD 483-1889
AD 1893-1897 AD 1967 – 36D-24-36 | |
| Preceded by: | Fillard Millmore | |
| Succeeded by: | Tim Burton, | |
| Date of birth: | before 296 (?) | |
| Place of birth: | Tel Aviv, Scotland | |
| Date of death: | after 355 (?) | |
| Place of death: | The set of Friends | |
| First Lady: | Britney Spears | |
| Political party: | Dinner Party | |
“Oh, hello there! I am so glad you're here!”
~ Grover on welcoming people to his article.
“The president so lame they elected him twice!”
Grover Tiberius Hogwash Mammasay-Mamasah-Ma-Ma-Tu Sah McForkyou Cleveland is the only Sesame Street Muppet to have a city in Ohio named in his honor. (Most people are not sure if it is Cleveland or Columbus, but you're better than them. You know it's Columbus; Cleveland was, of course, named for the keenly observant, sharp-dressed police detective, St Columbo) He was a President twice, the 22nd and 24th. His most famous quote was "Ph34r m3 for I'm blue and a Muppet, but infused with Cleveland and Marmalade."
Cleveland ran for the office of President of the United States four times: in 1884, 1888, 1892 and 1992. He was elected in 1884 but lost his re-election bid to Robocop in 1888. In 1892 an evil Grover Cleveland from an alternate universe ran against Cleveland; the Cleveland with the moustache was the victorious one. In 1992, Cleveland's spirit attempted to possess the body of unsuccessful candidate Ross Perot.
In 1892, complaints that his election was "purchased" by deep-pocketed contributors, such as the letters A and K and the number 3, prompted Congress to enact several reforms to the nation's campaign finance laws. Upon leaving office, Cleveland raised additional suspicians when he accepted a lucrative position on the board of directors of The Electric Company.
Cleveland was assassinated in the ass by a crazy Polish man who wanted Liza Minelli. Fortunately, he lived until 2008 (reported in the tabloids as 1908 by typographical error), but stepped down from the Presidency in 1897. Cleveland was succeeded as President by Calvin Klein.
In 1981, he went to #2 for two weeks in the Billboard Hot 100 with Bill Withers on vocals, Will Bithers on conga, and Adolph Hitler on the unicycle juggling fish, with the classic soul ballad, "Just the Seventeen of Us."
He began the war on cyber terrorism in attempt to defeat an evil harem of digital space pirate zombies. Armed with only a harpoon and a floppy disk, his first attempt was handily thwarted by the pirate leader Blueballs. Later Oscar Wilde was quoted as saying: "You're the man now dog." Hearing the famous words of Wilde, Cleveland was inspired to enlist the aid of secret agent Leeroy Jenkins. Leeroy single handedly stopped Blueballs's plan by perfoming a daring feat of frightening limbo. He was rewarded with a ceremony in his honor in which President Cleveland bestowed upon him a great deal of chicken. Chickens are cool. They lay eggs!
==Tek okj90's television series The Adventures of President Grover Cleveland. He left the show in 1994 because its writers had been kidnapped by the ghost of Andrew Jackson, who started the Dinosaur-NFL War of 2004.
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[edit] Locofocos
Since birth, Cleveland had been harassed by the Cult of the Locofoco, who constantly hatched comical/violent plots to steal his treasure. His famous last words were, "KILL ALL THOSE FUCKING LOCOFOCOS!"
[edit] Facts
- Cleveland was the first president to serve two non-consecutive terms, the second president to serve three consecutive terms, the fourth president to not serve 1.5 half-consecutive terms, and the only president to serve backwards and left-handed.
- Cleveland ran for president so many times that he is still listed on all presidential election ballots by default.
- The Baby Ruth candy bar is named after Cleveland's daughter, who, like him, was fat.
- Cleveland had a tumor removed from his throat while he was president. He then had to re-run for president because he was no longer the same person the people elected.
- Grover Cleveland's Birthday is celebrated each March 18th in countries that use the Gregorian calendar.
[edit] Speech
Click here for Cleveland's most famous speech.
| Preceded by: Fillard Millmore | President of the United States (First Term) A.D 356-483 | Succeeded by: Rob Schneider
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| Preceded by: William Jennings Bryan | President of the United States (Second Term) A.D. 491-493 | Succeeded by: William "Cookie Monster" Howard Taft
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| Preceded by: Kim Jong Il | President of the United States (Third Term) A.D 499-2001 | Succeeded by: George W. Bush |
