Gun
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“Two shots for flinching.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Gunshots
“Guns don't kill people, the government does.”
~ Dale Gribble on guns
The modern gun or firearm is a tool designed specifically for ending the existence of any creature, plant, student of a high-profile liberal school, deer, turkey, your mom, duck, or terrorist. The main parts of a gun include the thing you pull when you want something to die; the end you point at anything you want to die; the bit where you don't stick your finger; the hole where the ammunition goes in; the part you look into to see the creature you wish to die; and the shoulder thing that goes up. (Please note, do not point the part that kills things at yourself, unless you're an idiot,an emo or lookin' for an easy suicide. Just warnin' ya) There are many various types and styles of guns in this modern age: Starting small, a handgun such as the Glock 18 is used in bank robberies by terrorists and other various bad guys. Going up to medium size, a .50 cal fully automatic machine gun for hunting deer. To a larger chain gun to take out small vermin in your house, finally ending with a remote control atomic rocket for the neighbors.
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[edit] Guns (God's Gift)
Guns were God's gift to infants. Being very fun to play with, these tools help build the imagination at a young age.The government gave kids guns hoping that one of them would be dumb enough to do us all a favor and bust a cap up in george bushes white ass. It was also used to develop interpersonal skill among young children with the latest fashion being, who can kick ass with the biggest gun. Young teens may use the gun to expel their problems on surrounding friends and then blame the music they listen to and get away with it. In adult life the gun is often a symbol of "he got bitches in <insert area code here>" The term most often used while wielding a gun is " I'm gonna bust a cap in yo ass bitch!"
Warning, guns are dangerous. Do not use indoors or place in mouth. Do not let people under the age of 40 handle guns. Bullets not included. Please read the manufacturer instructions before operating a gun. The institution that sells you a gun is not liable for any damages, injuries or damages that may so occur due to your use of a gun. All rights reserved, guns may contain nuts. A common gun commercial may be "hey kids im Derek the dodo!""Yay"" Now kids what do you do if you find a gun?""check it loaded look down the barrel!, Pull the trigger!""bang now youeve mad a big mess now file off the serial number and coniel the gun among your person!"
[edit] Gender roles of guns
There are three types of women who use guns.
[edit] Chicks with Guns
Horny fitness babes with an overdose of steroids, ripped t-shirts, and humongous tits to match. Optionally, wearing tight leather or latex. Clearly a major negative cultural advancement, as we know they will rape everything in sight as people run screaming from them.
[edit] Dykes
Ugly disaffected B.H's with attitude problems and too much camouflage clothing. Often they gain guns by masquerading as men, then use their weapons to further alienate themselves from society.
Dykes also keep guns down their pants. This is a major hazard for any man who does not realize that the dyke is in fact a dyke. The guns they carry can sometimes be bigger than yours (such as a .44 Mag vs. your wimpy .32 ACP, though this does widely vary, since many men have .500 S&W magnum), so be very careful before you get into bed with any sluts you meet. Especially a friend of a friend, cuz all your friends are dykes. Chloe is also a dyke. MM.
[edit] Gun Culture
Guns are grown from a bacterial culture in a petri dish. Different types of guns are grown in different ways, but that was quite dull so I didn't research it. Please have the courtesy to not notice the poor quality of this section. It really is pointless. The gun culture is now and always has been to shoot that guy at the office who has been on your case about that damn report you didn't hand in hence you use the gun to teach him a lesson. If the Indians had more guns Americans would be wearing much less clothing, and Buffalo Wings would be even MORE popular...
[edit] Gun Types
Freedom is found at the end of a barrel. Never in history has any nation ever sustained its freedom with "peaceful" talks. It is not in human nature to be peaceful with your neighbors. Every nation today that bans every single civilian from owning any personal firearms is in a state of unrest: Myanmar, formerly Burma. Sudan. North Korea. When you take the privilege away from citizens from owing firearms, you take away their moral liberty to be free. Before USA was founded and the US began to secede from GBR, they tried taking away all firearms from the settlers and habitants, so they would have NO WAY to defend themselves from oppression.
History has shown that once people give up their right to defend themselves, they become slaves.
