Gympie

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Gympie (pronounced "gym pie") is one of the major cities of Queensland, Australia. Known to most as the trend capital of the world, however is also known for it's overwhelming amount of mullets (sported by both male and females), dragon tattoo's and bogans. Many have lobbied for it to be named capital of the universe, however it's close rivalry with Ipswich and Poowoomba have hindered it's selection as Daniel Boon (Member of the Universe Capital Selection Commitee), has been cited as stating "Gympie needs to get it's priorities rights, sure I hate those inbred Ippy and Poo town cunts, but the town's energy needs to be more foccused".

1 History and Founding
2 People To Kill in Gympie
3 Fun Facts with Gympie
4 Things to Do in Gympie

[edit] History and Founding

Founded in 50000000 BC by that new bogan trolley guy down the road at Coles, originally connected to modern day Iceland, it was a major port developed by prehistoric (even though nothing pre-dates history) merchants, it prospered into a prosporous township consisting mainly of Triceratops. Invaded in 1000000 BC by Neanderthals, the new inhabitants laid down a solid foundation on which the basic morals and ideologies of true Gymponians are based. POOOOOOOOOOOO ToWN full of WEED smokers

A young Pilgrim, whose name is unknown (speculated to be Tom Cruise), came to preach the word of Xenu (God of Scientology) around 999999 BC. The Neanderthals embraced the religion with open arms, one member being quoted as saying "Grrr!", roughly translated into "Xenu is a merciful and great god, omnipotent, omniscient, omniparient, omnipatient, all knowing, all seeing, all producing and all waiting. His intelligence has no boundaries, his love and creativity are only surmounted by his lack of existence".

In 999998 BC, the Emperor of the Neanderthals, "Tom Green", signed a deal stating than Xenu would teleport the town to the east coast of Australia if he could have the king's daughter, Elton John's, hand in marriage. He agreed, but sadly Princess Elton died of AIDS before the marriage was official. Xenu proclaimed he would smite King Green, but sercretly admitted he was only using the Princess for her massive jugs.

One of the councils major policies is to replace any oxygen in the air with smog from all the factories around. This is a contributing factor to the fact that so many from Gympie are growing extra heads.

[edit] People To Kill in Gympie

Everyone.

Ashley Timbs. The Adam's Family Ashley Timbs

This aim is already being achieved. The remaining two headed Gympanese are being slowly poisoned by the excessive the constant smoke and air pollution from factories in the area.

[edit] Fun Facts with Gympie

Gympie marks the end of the "real" Sunshine Coast, hence marking the beginning of normal and sensible society after it's demise at Caboolture.

Nicknames; That Shit Hole Two Hours North of Brisbane, The Place You Were At Once But Tried To Forget Because You Cried When You Were Five Because The Big Scary Mullet Guy Asked You For A Smoke Because Everybody Smokes In Gympie