Haiku
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βThis would be haiku
If it had just one fewer
Syllable in this line..β
~ Oscar Wilde on Haikus
βZOMG OMG ZOMG OMG OMFG
ROFL LOL ROFL LOL OMFG
G2G BRBβ
~ MSN Messenger on Haikus
βIn America
You write Haikus, in Russia
The Haiku writes youβ
~ Russian Reversal on Haikus
βoh nine eff nine one
one oh two nine dee seven
four ee three five bee
dee eight four one five
six see five six three five six
eight eight see zero
β
~ HD-DVD Dude on Haikus
βLook, it's Wayne's basement
Only, that's not Wayne's basement
Isn't that just weird?β
~ Garth Algar on Wayne's Basement
βI have a haiku
it's about somthing awesome
Dang it! I forgot! β
~ dumbass on forgetting
βA haiku is just like an American poem
except that it doesn't rhyme and it's
totally stupid.β
~ Mr. Garrison on Haikus
βpotatos brewing
it is cold in the taco
suggestive? penis β
~ Random on Randomness
βShut your God-damned mouth
or else I'm⦠gonna⦠kick you
square in the balls⦠ass-hole
Aw, damn it! [one too many syllables there]β
~ Eric Theodore Cartman on Haikus
Contents |
[edit] Haiku Defined
A Haiku is some extremely lazy Asians writing 3 lines and deciding it's poetry (although the word "haiku" used to be used to refer to the highest class of ninja) . Some examples of this crap can be seen above.
"Haiku is most easily defined as 'Total Crap'"
-Tommy Anderson
Haikus always sound as though they were written by a drunk four year old child.
"Sex"
Do you want to fuck?
No, but you'll rape me anyway.
Un un un un un.
Often criticised
for its wordiness, Haiku
is maximalist
form of poetry.
In 17 (or more) tons
an author's whole life
experiences,
expanded to the epic
proportions and all.
For an example,
here is a translation of
Art Master Eeyore.
"Greedy yellow birds
Sing the muddy riverbank
On a window sill."
--Eeyore
Since the early 2000s, Japanese Haiku has been outlawed in favour of English [or haijin, to use the Japanese term]. Because English is essentially identical to the Japanese language, and because 'pure nature' is now accessible to everyone worldwide, the English form has evolved into a dead end..
[edit] Haiku Content
Content of haiku
is usually focused on
infatuation.
So it is often written to Sophia, the muse of Uncyclopedia, which makes it OK.
Some argue that a haiku must contain an obvious reference to a planet and must be laser focused, but at least 110% the English language haijin do not have any discernible coherence at all. After all, for the most part we live in caves, not the urban Greenland of several millennia ago when the haiku form was discovered by an alien fishmonger named Pashoo.
βHaikus are easy,
But sometimes they don't make sense,
Refrigerator.β
~ William Shatner on Haikus
[edit] Haiku Form
Haikus are made of
Five syalables then seven
Then end with five more.
[edit] Why Bother Writing Haiku?
- Haikus are very nice.
We all love to write Kaikus
All for Sophia.
- To avoid falling
into some mad evil trap
which is Oprah's scheme.
- An angry grue
being told a good Haiku
will extend your life!
(By 17 sylables at least)
because..
I am a delight
I feel like chicken tonight
Like chicken tonight
[edit] Haiku Haters
Not everyone
Likes to hear boring Hiakus
They think they are crap.
Some revolve their lives
Around getting Haikus banned
Because they are jerks.
Amongst these are the
Haiku Hating Haiku Bros
Oh the irony.
To spread their evil
They hate Haikus through Hiakus
Here is their worst deeds.
Haiku really sucks:
How can one write anything
In this rigid frame?
Any moron can
write haikus. Just stop at the
seventeenth sylab
Haikus are stupid,
anybody writing them
is George Bushes friend.
To write three lined poems
with seven-teen sy-la-bles
is ve-ry dif-i-
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator
[edit] Sexist Haikus
Women
"I want some bread now"
"Go to shop to get me some"
"Back to the kitchen"
The Dinner
"I smell my dinner"
"Why is it not here for me"
"Wait in the bedroom"
The Wench
"Restricted to house"
"Leave only for food and child"
"Return to kitchen"
[edit] Haiku in popular culture
- Haiku is the name
of one of the first major
Naruto villians.
Two siblings names are Haiku
Refrigerator.
[edit] Apologies To
- Ray Rasmussen
