Hale

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

You may be looking for Semen and not even know it!

This article may be Overly Filipino. Well, it claims to be.

Hale
Hello pogi!
Origin	Macho Pop
Genre	Boy Band, Gay
Years Active	Still sexually active as of the moment
Label(s)	Haller
Associated Acts	Emo style fellatio
Website	http://www.hale.com/iloveyouchamp

“...The Day You Said Good Naaaahaaaayyyy...”

~ Champ on attempting to sing a song and sell it to millions of cute yet downright stupid teenage Filipinas who will readily spend their hard earned lunch money because they find Hale's vocalist good looking

“That was completely horrendous and utterly unbearable! You didn't sing a note in tune, not even one! I can't understand what you're singing and your eyes are set too far apart! Honestly you scare me! Out you go!”

~ Simon Cowell on Champ's pathetic attempt on singing

“She's already tekken, she's already tekken, she's already tekken nghiiiiiihhhhiihhhhhhhh...”

~ Champ on whatever the fuck he's trying to sing

Hale is a band from the Philippines. They are all gay. And when I say gay, I mean screaming fag gay.

[edit] History

Champ flaunting his gayness: He's proving to the whole gay community that he's still not infected with HIV by sticking out his "candida albicans free" tongue. Notice his eyes are set too far apart

On July 2004, Hale was formed form a concoction of gay semen in a gay bar. Instead of going indie and performing in underground gigs, Hale focused on being gay. With only less than half a year playing as a band, Hale was officially declared as the progenitor of everything that is gay in Philippine music on November by Macho Pop Gay bar in Cubao. On the first quarter of 2005, Hale released their first single Broken Back Mountain Sonnet along with their gayness, and transformed everything that is manly to gay. It was not until their second single The Day You Said Good Nahaaaayyyy that Hale stared to gain attention from the bi-curious men from all over the archipelago.

Soon, their debut album went from gay gold (20,000 copies sold), to platinum gay (40,000), to double platinum gay (80,000) - this corresponded to the total number of gay-ass men in the country. With two hit singles under their crotch, they released two more ejaculations. Hale became known as the gayest band in the Philippines breaking the record of sister band Cueshe.

They continue to perform oral sex. By the first quarter of 2006, Hale released their repackaged album, along with another single to get more blow jobs. And due to their success, they were proclaimed "Favorite New Artist in a Video with fellatio" at the 2005 Fellatio Pilipinas Video Music Awards and were nominated for the title of "Favorite Artist Philippines doing fellatio" at the 2006 Bakla Awards.

[edit] Music *GAY!* Style

Champ is infected with the gay: Look Ma! No Candidiasis! Roccckkkerzzzz \m/ LOLZ!

Hale now hits off melodiously well with a hopelessly romantic Filipino audience because the majority of the male population have gay tendencies. Their impact is felt everywhere like a woddy on your ass every time you hear their song “Broken Back Mountain Sonnet” (which isn't even written like a sonnet) and “The Day You Said Good Naaaahaaaayyyy”-- the songs that have sent young bi-curious if not gay pumping into gay asses.

This is what makes Hale extremely popular amongst jologs, especially in the southern part of the Metro (Las Penis, Alabangbus and Parañapuque).

Their musical influences include a diverse eclectic group of musicians ranging from Paco Arrespacochaga, Diomedes Maturan, Ruben Tagalog, The Gelboys, B.A.D.A.F, Hagibis, The Hunks, Michael Jackson, Chupa-Choops and Richard Merk.

The band also claim influences from highly technical progressive rock bands such as Dream Theater. [1] Don’t be deceived by such claims – their music alone is a testament of their incompetence. They don't know the difference between the harmonic minor scale and the hole in the ground, so don't ask them music theory related questions, it will make them cry. When asked for a comment about Hale citing them as an influence, Dream Theater guitarist John Petrucci exclaimed “WTF! Putang ina!!!!”.

On another note, what the fuck is wrong with Champ's eyes?

[edit] Albums

[edit] Singles

Hale: (L-R) Bomber Moran, E.T., some homeless bystander (WTFOMGLOLZ!), Michael Kelso