Half-jew

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Half-Jew is a phrase with so many uses and meanings. It is widely regarded as the most useful phrase in the world.

[edit] Linguistic properties

[edit] Half-Jew as an Adjective

Half-Jew may be used as an adjective. Observe:

"You are a half-Jew whore."

"That cat has a half-Jew heritage."

[edit] Half-Jew as a Noun

Half-Jew may also be used as a noun. Observe:

"You dirty Half-Jew!"

"Mmmm, tastes like Half-Jew!"

"I think I dropped my Half-Jew!"

[edit] Half-Jew as a verb

Yes, Half-Jew may also be used as a verb, like as follows:

"I half-Jew pee."

"He Half-Jewed his way through the test."

"I may not have much, but I half-Jew."

[edit] Put it All Together

"I half-Jew call the police! He half-Jewed me out of all my half-Jews!"

[edit] Half-Jew properties

1. Favored Class: Upper-Middle, self-made well-educated professionals.
2. Immunity to Sleep: A Half-Jew is immune to the Sleep spell and all sleep-like spells. This would be incredibly useful if magic was real.
3. Hardiness vs. Enchantments: Half-Jews are quite hardy when it comes to enchantments, whatever that means.
4. Partial Skill Affinity (Listen): Half-Jews are good listeners. For example, they say "my!", "really?" and "oh!" a lot.
5. Partial Skill Affinity (Search): If you've lost something, a Half-Jew most certainly will search it for you, if you ask him really nicely.
6. Partial Skill Affinity (Partial Skill Affinities): Half-Jews often have skill affinities. But these are only partial. They do whatever you ask them to, but it will be a half-assed job.
7. Low-light Vision: Half-Jews don't like glaring lights. If you shine a flashlight right in a Half-Jew's face, he'll most probably say "hey, stop that". And isn't he right to say so?
8. Weakness: 2X Damage From Fire: As with the full Jew class, Half-Jews take double damage from all types of fire and poison gas. Hitler was one of the first script kiddies to exploit this.
9. Weakness: Large Nose: Half-Jews share the full Jew's oversized nose, but have the undersized cranium of a normal person, leading to severe stability issues. When you see a Half-Jew who has fallen down, it is polite to kick him soundly in the stomach.