Halfassnium

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Halfassnium is a substance that causes you to start doing somthing but then only halfass it. This may cause you to start making somthing but not quite finish. Once Thomas Edison accidentally ate some halfassinum and it took him more than 2000 times to make the lightbulb he was halfassing it so much. This is because of the great halfass effect caused by halfassinum. This chart shows the relationship between consumption and halfass tendancies.

As you can see at more than four grams the bodys liver kidneys Glutemus Maximus is overwhelmed(or at least half of it is) and the laziness really kicks in.

But not all bad things can come of this, marijuana, which is filled with halfassium has stimulated the economy by 200 billion dollars a year. Also there is that office scene in willy wonka and the chocolate factory that has all the half stuff. How do you think that stuff was made? Oompa Loompas under the influence of Halfassium.

The United States of Whatever is currently investigating Alchemic Power Stations using Halfassnium. This is from a recently found alchemic reaction, involving you reacting with most other substances to form Halfassnium. This reaction creates an unstable isotope of Halfassnium, which by Cheese Decay becomes a stable isotope of Lithuania. The combined energy output of the reaction and the decay is extremely large, and could potentially be a more effective fuel than Nuclear Masturbation.