Hannah Montana

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The National Socialist German Workers' Party approves highly of this article This article has been approved by the National Socialist German Workers' Party because it expresses the party's position on Jews and shows that the Holocaust wasn't all that bad. Because it wasn't. Really.

Blond, blue eyed mid-western American sings the songs of the fatherland. Who wouldn't love that?

“She stole my nickname”

~ Joe Montana on Hannah Montana

“Everyone's favorite Fraulein.”

~ Noel Coward on Hannah Montana

“DROP DEAD BITCH!!!”

~ Mickey Mouse on Hannah Montana

“...and I thought I was a bitch!”

~ Asuka Langley on Hannah Montana

“God, I wish I never had her.”

~ Billy Ray Cyrus on Hannah

“What a Disgrace.”

~ God on Hannah Montana

“You are a bitch and Mickey Mouse sucks.”

~ Hannah Montana on Asuka Langley and Mickey Mouse

Hannah refers to both an individual and the self-autobiographical American children's television series which runs on the Disney Channel. The series focuses on Hannah Montana who lives a double life as an average teenage girl during the day and a famous neo-Nazi cannibal folk singer at night, concealing her real identity from the public other than with her close friends and family. The show also teaches kids everywhere that its a OK to have a split personality, and to be the fifth generation of incest! She disguises herself as Hannah Montana using a blond wig made of straw. Not one fuckwit in that show realizes that it's her under that wig, even though it's blatantly obvious due to the fact that she has EXACTLY THE SAME FACE. They should have added freckles, pimples and zits to her face so that she would be unrecognizable. DUH!

TV show

Hannah has influenced tens of thousands of teenage girls to follow their heart and remain true to their beliefs.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Hannah Montana.

The show is recognizable for the number of recurring characters it has. This includes her redneck father, (played by her real life father and uncle, Billy-Ray Montana), Lola Luftwaffe (Hannah's best friend and confidante) and Jackson Montana (Hannah's skinheaded, tattooed brother). Other characters include Thor (a frequently angry major Germanic sky god with a penchant for lightning bolts) and Doktor Josef (a South American doctor with an unusual accent and an interest in disabled children).

Although the TV show is highly popular in the US, Hannah Montana has influenced all American girls, and a few gays, to be schizophrenic. Unfortunately, this has led to many deaths, casualties and anal rapes, as the other personality tells the child to kill anything they possibly can. Nothing was left to be done except kill those children; the population did not decrease, since so many small Asian babies come in each day to be adopted. George Bush was interviewed secretly with CNN about the matter, but the President tried to lead the conversation offtrack. He then hurried off and dismissed the reporter around evening. Coincidentally, the same night, a brand new episode of Hannah Montana had been aired, and for just one half hour that night, the President didn't leave his office.

The show is now entering its third season, and is one of the most successful series aimed at the white, Anglo-Saxon demographic, following on from Buffy the Negroslayer and Sabrina the Teenage Ordnungspolizei.

Hannah Montana set a mattress on fire without a match on one show. It burned her house down and so Hannah Montana is not shown anymore on TV.

TAE!!

Ideology

Hannah and her family have strong ties to the White Nationalist Wiki organization, an infamous white nationalist group with little or no sense of humor. Their ideology has been described as racist and white supremacist in nature by many organizations. The Daily Telegraph reports that, on stage, Hannah executes Nazi salutes, as well as some leading members of the local Jewish population.

However, Hannah claims not to be a supremacist, but a separatist, saying she wants a homeland for white people and that being supremacist contradicts the ideology of separatism. This state should include much of the western world, specifically the places that have the most money, and look the nicest.

During an ABC interview, she stated that she believes Adolf Hitler was a great man with good ideas, such as eugenic standards and incentives to improve the genetic quality of the German people, and marriage loans to help qualified German families begin upon a firm financial basis. Also, he loved his dog. In the interview, Hannah described the Holocaust as being "exaggerated" and "blown out of all proportion". Like Oklahoma.

As of yesterday, however, Hannah Montana's squeaky clean image as an incestuous Nazi has been challenged. According to a report by Church of Jackie Christ of Latter Day Discordian Saints representative Reverend Loveshade, Hannah Montana is secretly a mind-controlled clone of Discordian American Princess Miley Ray Cyrus. Miley Ray, in turn, is allegedly the reincarnated San Francisco Prostitute Minnie Rae. Known as the Preteen Slut who was responsible for saving Hitler's Brain, Minnie Rae is currently being considered as a Saint by the Roman Catholic Church.

Personality Disorder

Miley/Hannah (see!) is suffering with a personality disorder. She constanly changes personas due to deep psychological distress. Miley is the good schoolgirl, while Hannah is a complete whore. This started at an early age, around four, when she would sneak out of her house and snort coke off of the asses of hobos. She would come home at around three in the morning, wipe her nose so she wouldn't be caught, and eat a cookie while watching Care Bears. When Miley/Hannah( AGAIN!) started school though, she was groggy in the morning, and her parents started to suspect something. She was sent to rehab, and broke her addiction to coke, bu still missed her hobos. So she devised a plan. When the time was right, she would develop that persona again, as Hannah Montana, so that she would be allowed out of the house again for "concerts". She has since reunited with her hobo buddies, and been raped repeatedly.

Discography

Thousands of screaming fans arrive to see Hannah perform at the 2006 Lollapalooza festival. Many bring their own candles for the poignant encore.

• Father of Mein: A collection of classic tunes including "Run, Nigger, Run" - the official song of the 1936 Olympic Games, and "Fight for your Reich (to Party)". The title track refers to Hannah's love for her father, following the protracted custody battle involving her mother.

• The Path I Choose: The first album featuring completely new songs, many, including the 2005 hit "Panzr Boi", were written by Hannah herself. The track "Acky, Breaky Heartlands" was penned by her father.

• Heimatland: A poignant collection of traditional songs, straight from the farm. It includes such songs as, "Workin' für den Führer", and "Eier und Schinken machen die Deutschen allmächtig", a great song, sung as a revival of traditional values by Hannah, to show her commitment to her land and heritage. The album, released only in Germany also contains a moving cover of "Sex auf dem Bauernhof".

Incest Allegations

Both on and off the show Miley and Billy Ray can be seen doing incestuous activities. On the show it is things like hugging, kissing on the cheeks, spanking, blow jobs and titty licking, while off the show it is pure unsaturated sex. They were even shot making out with each other in the magazine Vanity Affair, which focuses on the affairs of vain people. It also focuses on Hannah's naked back, which, as of yesterday, has been blamed for 537 American cases of illegal backrubs.

The news of Miley Ray-Billy Ray's relationship should come as no surprise to anyone, as it has long been know that Billy Ray is both Miley's brother and father. When questioned about recent pregnancy allegations involving Miley in a May 2008 article in Vanity Affair, Billy Ray responded, "That is so not true. Any time she is late, I punch her in the stomach 10 times, that usually fixes the problem. There is no way I would get my daughter pregnant without marrying her first. We southerners have morals!!!"

Engagement to Hitler and Queen Latifah

Hannah Montana was the role model for a major character in the 2005 computer game GTA Vice City.

Hannah is engaged to Hitler, where as Miley Cyrus is engaged to Queen Latifah. Even though it's fucking obvious they're the same person, with the crappy Tennessee wanna-be accent and bad taste in shoes. Adolf, however, met his death after Queen Latifah killed him because she wanted his Vanity Fair subscription.

See Also

• Valt von Disney and the Aryan Brotherhood
• Billy Ray Cyrus

"Good Image"

Miley Cyrus is actually a good girl. The entertainment media assholes didn't find anything wrong with her, so they go on things like the fact that she didn't wear a seatbelt and got her picture taken in some crappy magazine. The big conspiracy is that they want to turn her into another Britney Spears so that it seems impossible to be a vi... (shot in head)

Sorry about that. My colleague had to much to drink. Anyway, many people say that she is a good example to little kids everywhere especially little girls ...Yup she is teaching them how to be sluts,whores and hookers! Which means the world will be a better place. And that's it for this episode of The Insider.

Pregnancy

In September 2007, Hannah got pregnant with Jonas Brothers and this, according to the laws of physics, in turn made Miley Cyrus pregnant too. Billy Ray Cyrus decided to only give Miley Cyrus the abortion, leaving the baby inside Hannah Montana to grow up and become his wife.

Rivalry with Dora

Dora the Explorer was incredibly insulted after Hannah Montana went on a heroine-fueled tyrade on MTV about Dora, calling her a bitch, a slut, and a Dee Dee Dee. On May 7, 2008, Dora grabbed a swiss army knife she had stolen from Asuka Langley and preceded to launch a surprise assault on Hannah Montana. Once there, Dora's little annoying monkey Boots set fire to Hannah's bedroom. Hannah, however, didn't know hat awaited her at the front door of her residence. Dora managed to only inflict a small cut to Hannah's back before Hannah put her into a headlock that ultimately put her to sleep. She later went to Nickelodeon's HQ and said to the vice president, "KEEP SEÑOR CORNHOLIO'S DAUGHTER OFF MY PROPERTY!" Disney sued Nickelodeon the next day.

It is also reported that Dora and Zac Efron have been involved with a potential assassination plot at Hannah Montana's next concert.

   

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