Care Bears

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Care Bears.

Care Bears are mentally and physically handicapped Happy Tree Friends. They are all retards and their face and body are teratoid. Although, the CBs got a better english than normal HTFs. The Happy Tree Friends discriminate and segregate the Care Bears. Because of their inferiority, ugliness and unpopularity. The Happy Tree Friends live a normal and free life in the forest and eat normal or fancy food every day. Care Bears are trapped in an enclosure made of high indestructible electrified metal fences. They eat the HTFs' trashes and drink in a polluted lake. The Happy Tree Friends' world is paradise, and the Care Bears' world, a very trashy dump.


Contents

[edit] The Happy Tree Friends

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Happy Tree Friends.

The Happy tree Friends are very cute mammals from the planet Happy. It's a pink planet very similar to earth. This planet is in a solar system that look the same as earth's one. In this planet there are exactly the same lands and oceans as the planet I repeatedly say (earth). The humans in the planet Happy are colorful bipedal mammals with a pink heart shaped nose with pair of buckteeth. Some HTF species don't have a heart saped nose and a pair of buck teeth such as anteaters and moose. The animals are the same as they are in earth, but some can have a heart shaped nose. There are 20 famous HTFs because they are featured in the HTF TV series.They are all illustrated in the image.

There are the real superstars
There are the real superstars

[edit] Lifestyle

They have a pretty good and normal life. But it always finishes in a disaster and they'll wound and even die. Most of the HTF's deaths are very gory and violent. When they die they later mysteriously resurrect and don't remember about their death. It's very amusing to see them pain and die.

[edit] Famous HTFs

They are famous because of their appearances in the HTF TV series.

[edit] Cuddles

Cuddles is a yellow male rabbit. He is nammed Cuddles because he likes to cuddle Toothy Giggles. He really likes pink, and please, do not think about that, he's not gay! His cheeks are pink painted and he wears pink rabbit slippers. I got it! he loves Giggles because she's pink. He likes to eat carrots, with his nephew Puddles. However, he always dies when he eats them, that's why he hired Dr. Eggman to revive him afterwards. He has been revived 1278 times now. When Cuddles takes off his slippers HUUUUH !!! OOOH MY GOD !!! EEEW !!! AWFUL !!! THIS SMELL LIKE CRAP !!! EW !!!

[edit] Giggles

Giggles is a pink female chipmunk. Her vagina is also pink, that's why Cuddles likes to lick it.. She has a blood red bow on her head. She has a pink dildo. She loves smoking pot Cuddles, she likes his yellow fur and wants to eat his banana. She frequently prostitutes giggles.

[edit] Toothy

Totthy is a purple male beaver. He is Cuddles' boy friend best friend. He is freckle faced and has a so large space between his buckteeth that Cub's penis can pass beetween them. He is gay straight. He really likes porn movies for gay monster movies. Toothy oftent sodomizes Care Bears tortures Care Bears with Cuddles and Lumpy.

[edit] Lumpy

Lumpy is a blue male moose. Thiss guy es a pedophile big idiot. He is verry tal and loocks a biit diferent to oter HTFs, 3 trillionn off the 300 trilion HTFs have the same kind of body as him. He has normal nostrils instead of a eart shaped nose. He has a huge pennis uge mismatched anttlers. He is the first one that has started to torture the Care Bears, end Cuddles and Toothy letter joyned im to that actiyviti. His antlers are powerfol wapons. In 1988, he has been a famous dare devil. The reson he is famous iz becoz he alwes fails his cascades. All the vewers of his cascades where enjoying him injuring. In 1994, he carrrer failed becauz he sucseded a cascade

[edit] Petunia

Petunia is a blue female skunk. She would smell like hell if she woudn't have her flower on her head and a deodorizer around her neck. She takes over 10 showers a day, and always wipe her ass with water, soap, cleansing agent and toilet paper when she shits. She is best friend with Giggles. She really enjoys cooking, she cooks animal's penises fancy food.

[edit] Handy

Handy is an orange male beaver, he is amputated penis arms and wears a hard hat and a tool belt. He is a carpenter and HOW THE FUCK CAN HE DO ALL THAT STUFF WITHOUT HIS HANDS !? It's a mystery. And also, HOW THE HELL CAN HE JACK OFF !? Well he mostly builds things for Giggles and Petunia, and already built a shit house treehouse for Petunia and a pink dildo house for Giggles.

[edit] Mime

...

[edit] Nutty

Nutty is a yellow-green male squirrel. He is an hyperactive sugar addicted squirrel. For him candies are like sex exept he can get some as much as he wants. He has candies stuck on his fur. He has a crush on Pudding because she has lots of sugar, candies and chocolate in her house, he's even sexually interested by her own cake
Nutty is a yellow-green male squirrel. He is an hyperactive sugar addicted squirrel. For him candies are like sex exept he can get some as much as he wants. He has candies stuck on his fur. He has a crush on Pudding because she has lots of sugar, candies and chocolate in her house, he's even sexually interested by her own cake

[edit] Sniffles

Sniffles is a blue-gray male anteater. It is a nerd. He has a long trunk where is nose and mouth are. It is very interested in math and science. Even if it is a nerd, it is not ugly (but not cute neither). It is not rejected by others, how amazing ! but he is still uncool (not as much as Care Bears) and does nerdy activities. It has a very long tongue (which explains why the girls like him). It really loves to eat testicles ants, but always get tortured and killed by them. It has an evil plan. It plans to make a nuclear atomic bomb to make explode in the Care Bears' territory to decrease the number of CBs. If its plan successfully works, that will make it a hero and it will get cooler.

[edit] Pop

Pop is a pale brown male bear. He is the stereotypically clueless, bathrobe-wearing, pipe-smoking 1950s style sitcom father. Pop purposely accidentally kills his son Cub, because he's a very competent murderer incompetent father. He is a widower. With recent scientific researches, HTFs who dies over 1 million time die forever. Pop was married for 25 years until Pop clumsily killed his wife more than one million times.

[edit] Cub

Cub is a very young pale brown male bear. He is the son of Flippy Pop. He is a baby and frequently smells like crap because Pop rarely changes his diaper. Cub got used to have crap in beetween his legs and Pop put some perfume on him to smell good an hide the shit smell. Pop actually changes Cub's diaper once a week and only change it when he gives him a bath.

[edit] Flaky

Flaky is a red female porcupine. Her quills are full of dandruff. She is very frightened. She behaves a bit like a tomboy, because she enjoys playing baseball, but she likes flowers. She is afraid of chicks, more precisely baby birds. She is very shy and is afraid of almost evrything. She's even afraid of you, <insert name here>.


[edit] The Mole

The Mole is a lavender male mole. He wears dark glasses and a purple turtleneck. He is blind and has a mole on his face. He does numerous things that require vision such as stopping at a red light, lighting a match to see in the dark, reading a book, smoking marijuana, but also mistakes some objects or body parts for other things. The Mole rarely dies and frequently kills others.

[edit] Disco Bear

Disco Bear is a golden male bear. He has an orange afro and two sideburns. He likes to dance to country country disco music. He thinks that Flaky is pretty and that Giggles and Petunia are hot. He frequently tries to rape seduce them.

[edit] Russell

Russell is a turquoise sea otter. He is a butt pirate, searching the seas for cheap male prostitutes treasure. He wears two peglegs. His vocabulary is limited to Village People songs the word "Yar!". He enjoys fishing, sailing and eating out Handy's ass seafood. Russell lost his genitalia in an unfortunate masturbating accident, forgetting that his jack-off hand had recently been replaced by a hook. He paid a thousand bucks to Sniffles so it makes a clone of Lumpy's penis. After a whole month without genitals and action, Sniffles finally made it, it implanted the clone penis. After Russell's operation, he found out that his new penis was bigger than his leg. This involves, sperm floodings. He later decided to use his sperm as a sauce for his seafood, because we have to preserve sperm like we do with water.

[edit] Lifty and Shifty

The two green twin Kleptomatic Raccoon Brothers (or should I say two Dumbass raccoon brothers). These two are two of the most hated criminal HTF's. However, since they frequently steal merchandise from other Htf's for their own greed, the are most likely to get their asses kicked more often. They steal stuff from lumpy more often than anything else. But, If they steal from flippy...bad, bad, very dreadful Idea. Like in episode, "Easy for you to sleigh". Shifty (the one with the fedora) was owned like a bitch, by flippy. Than soon after Lifty was completely demolished and Mentally Raped by flippy. Just goes to show these two are the most evil,..But lack alot of commensense.(Serously, who in their right fucken mind would dare fuck with flippy???) But talk about double the trouble, these two would both steal your heart, than get their green raccoon asses kicked, than sell it back two you. Also, one of their most notable traits is their laugh, which kinda sounds queer (no offense) but cute and evil at the same time. And their laugh changes in different episodes. Here is an example: Shifty and Lifty together: "Ehehehehehehehe!"

Another: Lifty: "Hehehehehehehe!" Shifty: "Ohohohohohoho!" (like santa clause.XD) or "Ohahahahahaha" (more Dramatic like Micheal Jackson.)

Shifty seems to always own his brothe Lifty like he's his own personal bitch to throw around, and kills him when ever the fuck he wants. This is why lifty and Shifty are seen as the Pimp gangsta (Shifty) and the bitch (Lifty) of Happy Tree Friends.

[edit] The Care Bears

There is the bunch of ugly uncool retards
There is the bunch of ugly uncool retards

The Care Bears all have mental retardation and their body and face have visible developmental deformities. They live in a very trashy dump inside a enclosure. Female HTFs that give birth to a Care Bear will kill it or send it to the CB enclosure. The king of the Care Bears has the word GAY written on his belly. Its crown is made of dried out crap. The king has a huge penis shaped seat. And another famous CB is the Sperm Shooter. He shoots sperm on whores and on gay guys. It likes to read the Play Retard magazines, similar to Play Boy and Play Dude. The Care Bears frequently get orgasms. Most of Care Bears are Retarded like Caillou, Peter Griffin, and George Dubya Bush and some are even creationists (a lower ranking than Retarded). But, although those retards speak better English than the HTFs.


[edit] External links

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