Haxsword

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“OMG H@XSW0RD!!!!11one”

~ Random Noob on haxswords

“I can tell he uses haxswords cause I have an anti-haxsword hax”

~ Veteran Noob on haxswords

[edit] Definition

haxsword - n.

pronunciation: HAK-sord

A "haxsword", or more commonly in nerd speak, "H@X5W0RD", can be difficult to define. It can be used many ways in many different situations. In all cases, they are devices employed by noobs (see also - newbs) - most typically in first-person shooter video games - to assist them with their own lack of skill. To understand the word, we must look at the different types of haxswords, and how they differ.

[edit] Type A - Literal Haxsword

Often, when a noob lacks the amount of skill required to excel at a particular game, he or she (almost always a he) will turn to hax as a means to improve his or her (seriously, chicks don't play video games) abilities. Most of the time, however, the noob is so inept that he is unable to employ the haxsword properly and still gets pwned (see also - owned) regardless.

[edit] Examples of Literal Haxswords

A list of hax that noobs use to prevent themselves from getting totally owned (which they usually do anyways)

• Aimbots - Increases a noob's aim - because they obviously have no skill
• Speed Hacks - Makes noobs run faster - because they took the term "rush" too seriously
• Wall Hacks - Noobs can see through walls - again, no skill
• Key Hacks - Lets noobs play the game for free - because they're too cheap to pay for it

[edit] Type B - Suspected Haxsword

When a noob is scoring particularly poorly in a video game, he may try to claim that the players that keep pwning him are using "haxswords". Ninety nine percent of the time, this is not the case, and is merely an excuse to explain his inability. The other one percent requires that the "pwner" and the "pwnee" are both noobs, and the former is in fact employing literal haxswords.

[edit] Examples of Suspected Hackswords

Though these may or may not actually exist, noobs everywhere continue to claim they do

• Any of the above literal hackswords - though most of the time they aren't actually present
• Skill Hacks - A hack that improves skill - actual skill that non-noobs possess
• Anti-Aim Hacks - Prevents players from getting shot - in reality, it is the noob's lack of skill
• Win Hacks - Automatically win the round - a noob's inability to stop losing

[edit] Type C - OMG UB3R H@X5W0RD

[edit] Summary

In summation, if you use haxswords, you are a noob. If you claim that others use haxswords just to cover up your on ineptitude, you are also a noob. Stop being a freaking noob! Learn to play the game or get the hell out. Go find yourself another hobby, like bashing your head into the wall or slitting your wrists. Even better, go play a real-time strategy game instead. Serisouly, I hate every single one of you.