Hayao Miyazaki
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“Don't terr me how to plonounce his name! I'rr figule it out myserf!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Hayao Miyazaki
“To be honest... they are boring”
~ Hayao Miyazaki on Disney films
Hayao Miyazaki (Japanese: 宮 駿 駿駿, Miyazaki-San),born January 5, 1941 in a Tokyo Wal★Mart.
A world renounce director Japanese children Hentai films as well first born son Godzilla and Akira Kurosawa. Grow up in pleasant household; his stepfather being drunken abusive Rabbi jew and mother being half-lizard space monster give him seamless ordinary manner upbringing. Was educated highly Gay/Lesbian/Bi-sexual arts and sciences at prestigious University of Tokyo and later at Kasai Gandai University in Osaka. Being raised by kosher wolves in early childhood later favored him ability pity nature and partake common environmentalist protocol such as refusing with bath and breaking 11 Commandment. Though his movies consistent top Japan movie chart, father have never forgive him. The family drama make for great press.
A cartoonist writer writer cartoonist cartoonist writer politician historian ancient Anime(Japanamanamation) Homosexual Anime (Gaenime) with real time multi-racial acrobatic homosexual pornography justify title (Shin). First venture in pornographic art is to be when at tender age of 5½ with him frightening perverted Rabbi father and syna-colleaguess. Make his first film venture in of with the pornograph art for 1988 with My Neighbor Totoro.
Persistent mention in with interview that he wish the white devils stop shout "HAYAOO!!!" him when welcome him presence or for the congratulate him on blockbuster success.
American film critic Roger Ebert praise Miyazaki for him boldness of the vision. "It takes a certain kind of genius for an anime not to rely on huge knockers or bloody fights and to still hold the attention of a young male audience for THAT LONG," he say to with for and go how an the where in recent DVD interview. "It's almost like... he's saying something meaningful."
Miyazaki persistent mention to interview that he wish that 'the fat white filmmakers' (Disney) stop call them old friend with best buddy when new hit film of him come out.
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[edit] Useless Trivia
- Known to the Japanese as "Fu Manchu" or "God of Indecency" in English.
- According to recent estimates, controls the minds of 81% of Japan's population.
- He is the brother of Otaku Serial-killer, Tsutomu Miyazaki.
- Made a cameo appearance as, the demon, in the dream, the demon, in Akira Kurosawa's, Dreams.
- He is a co-founder of Toilet Ghibli.
- He likes grapes. More so than the average human.
- Hayao Miyazaki is made out of potassium hydroxinate, sodium glucol, polysorbate 67, guar gum, wickets, blue cheese and Jesus Flakes™.
[edit] Filmography
- Heidi, Girl of the Alps (Heidi, Stuntgirl of the Alps. Appropriate English translation), 1974 - This work is less well-known in America. It is about a little apprentice stuntgirl named Heidi, whose favorite stunt to entertain audiences, is to swing and fly on a giant swing, suspended 5,000 feet in the air, in front of her audience. This stunt is very dangerous, as there is no net, and it would eventually lead to the death of Heidi in episode #something-or-other. This stunt can also be seen in the intro.
- Future Boy Conan - (Oingo boingo. Appropriate English translation.), 1978
- The Castle of Cagliostro - (ルパン三世; Rupan Sansei. Appropriate English translation, Ninja Dick), 1979 To briefly summarize this well loved film, it is about a pervert who wishes to rescue a hot underage princess from marriage to her crazy, pedophile cousin Ashisafag Ifuckinhatehim, or in Greek, Sonic the Porcipine.
- Sherlock Hound - (名探偵偵偵偵!偵!!偵!!!; Meitantei tei tei Tei Tei! Tei!! TEI!!! TEIIIIIAHHH!!!!!! Hound. Appropriate English translation.), 1982
- Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind - (Nashu no Kamikaze Kameo.1984
- Castle in the Sky 1986
- My Neighbor Totoro (Tonari no Totoro) 1988
- Kiki's Delivery Service (Majo no takkyûbin) The Witch's Express Mail (literal title) Lil' Pimp Bitch on a Stick(aproprite tile),1989
- Porco Rosso - (Ooleshi Coolaid Porco. Literal translation: The Happy Flying Pig. PORNO.), 1992
- On Your Mark - (Makasuloo. Literal translation: Stick Your Tiny Euphemism In My Euphemism And Explode Like Hiroshima. PORNO.), 1995
- Mononononoke Hime - (Wolf in the Shell), 1997
- Spirited Away (スミスさん都へ行く Sen to Chickahero no Kamacasy) Aproprite tile:The girl who's parents were kamacasies that turned into pigs and who killed herself trying to save them!
- Howl's Moving Castle - (Bouncy Castle II; Bouncy Castle Versus Godzilla), 2004 (Best Animated Feature, nominee 2005)
[edit] Notable Quotes
Me films are like small dressed up penis. They a very cute and make people raugh hard in de pants, like plesure toy.
- Interview with USA Today, shortly before he was called off for a meeting with the Princeton Semantics, Linguistics and Modern Classicist Panel, in which he most truthfully explained...
I Rike Lice!
- Formal address to the Princeton Semantics, Linguistics and Modern Classicist Panel. '96
Ahhhh... Me sho Sholly!
- After running down 17 graduate Elvis impersonators in Vice City with a lawn mower. Released from American captivity for good conduct, homosexuality and an overall contentment with the confines of a federal penitentiary. '97
I funny, I maka you raugh!
- Formal address to the Princeton Semantics, Linguistics and Modern Classicist Panel. '98
Mater, Mater! ha ha!
- Formal address to the Princeton Semantics and Modern Classicist Panel. '99
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo small. 8->
- Not quite so formal address to the United Nations; a place Miyazaki-san infilitrates per annum under a conspicuously false guise as the 10th Duke of Chalfont, a candid representative of Japan's embarrassingly minuscule natural land size. '95 '96 '97 '98 NOT '99 '00 '01 '02 '03 '04 '05 '06. Sentenced to death by fire in '99 for exposing his genitals to the U.N council and aggressively flinging poop at the Iranian Minister of Religious Affairs without permission; resurrected by Black Jesus in '00.
[edit] Vain GTA attempt
Several painstaking attempts have been made in the past to successfully pioneer a comprehensive Japanime video game for mature audiences. In the wake of the clichéd Project: Design Your Own GTA Cover, Miyazaki enterprises took imminent notice of the seizable opportunity and set forth to dispose of 800,000,000 Yen ($0.0037 USD) in order to finance an extrapolation of a marketing campaign return.
The actual project itself would have cost over 800,000,000,000,000 Yen (8 Rubles). Sad to say, because of the slightly uneconomical expense budget and initiation stigmas, Miyazaki enterprises were unable to complete the venture that very well could've been the turning point for Japan's GDP.
In light of this unfortunate turn of events, Hayao Miyazaki simply responded with his middle-finger to everyone questioning the outcome of the project. The late Akira Kurosawa responded through a medium saying that violent video games with samurai Kawasaki death ninjas are something the whole world could benefit from. The ambassador of Bangladesh confirmed that despite the fact that 99.8% of his country lives without electricity, they can still morally benefit from what they are totally unaware of.
[edit] Related Topics
- Animation
- Anime
- Tokyo
- Homosexuality, coprophilia, urophilia, pedophilia, paraphilia etc. etc.
- Japan
- Nintendo
- Black Jesus
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