Head & Shoulders
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“Man, I need shitloads of the stuff.”
~ Chewbacca on Head & Shoulders
“Knees and toes,knees and toes.”
~ Captain Oblivious on Head & Shoulders
Head and Shoulders is an extremely dangerous chemical compound made from 8 parts Lead and 1 part Arsenic. There is also some water and soap thrown in to give it that "glorious smell and rich, lather-y texture".
It is also a mind-control device.
[edit] Early History
Head and Shoulders was created as a biological weapon for use in World War Two by the Nazi Party of Germany. Due to the lack of testing of the chemical (Formula 8PbAr), the German chemists were unsure of the effects.
When a soldier with particularly bad dandruff spilt some on his head, he noticed that it made his scalp nice and clean. The German Army decided to keep this secret formula for themselves to spite "those pesky allies".
[edit] Less-Early History
During the year 2000, rumours were floating around the US government that the Germans were still keeping a secret that could cure the ever present enemy of dandruff. When Donald Rumsfeld heard about the ancient Nazi Secret of Head and Shoulders, he immediately sent Jack Wade, the CIA's top agent, to Berlin to recover the chemical formula.
[edit] The Rumsfeld Plan
Once Wade recovered the secret formula, he brought it straight to Rumsfeld. After many tests, Rumsfeld found that the dandruff wasn't disappearing, it was evolving and migrating inside the subject's skull.
Once the whole process was complete (about the length of one shower), Donald had total control of his subject. He hypothesised that this was how Hitler managed to get so many sane people to go on his ridiculous crusade to take over the world.
During George W. Bush's weekly bath, Rumsfeld gave him the special shampoo.
The resulting effect is commonly known as the "War on Terror".
