Hello Kitty Vibrator

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WHY?! WHY, GOD, WHY?!

Hello Kitty Vibrators® (Japanese: ハローキティ マサッジ器, Haroo Kiti Masa-ji) also known as Happy-makes my daughter spin-toy is a massager and a crime against nature which is produced in Japan. The Hello Kitty Vibrator® is most often used by Japanese schoolgirls during the long and boring periods of time (which can sometimes last to up to 10 minutes) when they are not engaged in sexual activities with tentacle monsters or each other. This is Japan's most popular birthday present for girls aging from 3-15 years old, and older office ladies aging from 29 years old and up.

Hello Kitty Vibrator is awesome, now coming to the US

[edit] History

Hello Kitty creator, Fukku Miyu, created this for females ages 9-16, after successfully doing intercourse with his wife in 1993. The project was dismissed from the Hello Kitty line in 1995, understanding that it was a total blasphemy against females in such ages. The vibrator was brought back to the line in 2003, when the law had changed involving population increase classes in many schools in Japan and China.

Afterward in 2005, the vibrator was made part of the official line yet again, as for even more law changes, made by the emperor of Japan, as for understanding how "ridiculously cute" it is. The vibrator was claimed to come to the U.S. in 2009, as the law will be changed by then, however, it may not as George W. Bush will be leaving office.

[edit] Rejected Slogans

• Make daugtaa happy rong time!
• It's Prrrrrrrr-rific!
• ME-OW!
• Kid Tested, Mother Approved!
• A Pussy for a Pussy!
• Hello Pussy!

[edit] Technical Specifications

• Power: 25Kv a.c. three phase
• Speed: 3.2 Ghz Quad core
• Dimensions: standard model Ø = 28.6mm, length = 138.6mm; other sizes available on request
• Operating Frequency: variable - normally 60 Hz
• Safety Features: waterproof, shock resistant, flame retardant and self-lubricating
• Software Drivers: Windows, MacOS 8+, Linux still under development
• Made in: Taiwan
• Batteries Sold Separately

[edit] External Links

• Black & Decker - Additional Upgrades
• Craftsman - Additional Upgrades
• Stock image

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