Henry Ford

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Henry Ford as a young man.

“Ford is the best in Texas.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Ford

Henry Ford (born: Fighting for the Right to Keep Slaves Era - died: Yanks Have the Bomb and the Commies Don't Era) was the 29th president of the United Spades of Amerika, discoverer of the wheel, noted jewphile and became the second messiah after winning a duel against Jesus. Ford for a time was the youthful 'ward' of Thomas Edison, but would later in life claim his contraction of anal warts was from Zionist Chrysler back-seat.

Ford's musk glands produced natural new car smell, which was successfully synthesised in 1904. It is said that new car smell was based of the foot odor of Lindsay Lohan.

A primitive, sputtering crank stands next to an automobile.

[edit] Inventions of Henry Ford

Henry Ford was an accomplished inventor, as he invented the following things:

• DEATH
• the Ford automobile
• the cotton gin
• Linkin Park
• the talking fish
• the unibrow
• The Dearborn Independent
• Al Gore
• the Internet
• the Holocaust
• the American Nazi Militia Foundation

He also invented the Ford Coil (betta known as the Tesla coil). That bastard Nikola Tesla stole it from him while he was asleep. Ford got his gun out but Tesla got away. If you ever see that SOB, kill him for Ford. He'll give you candy if you do.

[edit] Discoveries of Henry Ford

• The Wheel, in New Zealand
• Discovery Channel

[edit] Brave New World

With these great inventions, Ford created a brave new world that forever changed humanity. As a way of thanks, the human race asked hack writer Elvis Huxley to write a book detailing the greatness of Ford's society and how great and almighty Ford really is, which Huxley titled Brave New World. To this day, it is the number five best selling book (behind the darn Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) but that is okay since Henry Ford declared that five was his favorite number.

[edit] Things named after Hernry Ford

• The Henry Ford
• Harrison Ford
• Henry Ford Communnity College
• Gerald Ford
• CW50
• Dearborn, Michigan

[edit] Aryanism

Henry Ford was a winner of an early Aryan race, and was crowned champion of the aryan racers. During a marathon, Henry discovered the Hebrews. Henry was intrigued by their culture and wrote a book about how great the jews were. He refused to give jews any jobs at his factories because he thought the jews so great that, they could make their own jobs and money. He even went so far as to praise "their control of international banking cartels". For his work on judaism, he was given the Hitler award, and Henry subsequently gave money to the founder fo the Hitler award; Billy Hitler.

[edit] Quotes by Henry Ford

• History is a bunk bed and I claim top bunk!-Ford

• My name is Henry Ford-Ford

• Get back here so I can shoot you!-Ford to Nikola Tesla

• Get back to work! I'm not paying you to stand around!-Ford (motivating his workers)

• You can get any car as long as it is white, because that is the color of our Aryan race-Ford

• My cars suck.-Ford

[edit] Death of Ford

Ford died in a duel against Jesus H. Christ, where Jesus H. Christ assumed the role as the third messiah.