Hickelodeon

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“Americans should love this racism!”

~ Michael Richards on Hickelodeon

“After going on a Redneck Rampage, I decided to work for Hickelodeon”

~ Mojo Nixon on Hickelodeon

Hickelodeon (AKA Hickkkelodeon, and Nickkkelodeon) is a spinoff of Nickelodeon in which a white audience is targeted. The network was started by a bunch of redneck hillbillies who have tried to protect valuable farmland and try to make extra money off redneck advertising. The rednecks have advertised so many products, that the price of their farm crops has gone down!

Contents 1 Racism 2 List of TV shows on Hickelodeon 3 Hickelodeon movies 4 Hick Jr. shows 5 Sistair channels 6 See also

[edit] Racism

This network has the WHITE POWER marketing for kids programs that almost eliminate all niggers from the shows. 66.6% of the network's funding comes from people who pay to be part of Ku Klux Klan rallies. Many people join the Ku Klux Klan so they can support the network as the network who is desperate for money takes advantage of mass racism in this world.

Often times, cross burning is done to power the electrical generator so the produkkktion crew can offset the cost of their electric bill as many workers of power companies happen to be black, so they stay "off the grid" for the personal secuirty.

The produkkktion crew also drives rusty pickup trucks because they know that their other honkie friends repair the trucks and trust their honkie repairmen more since they manage to avoid professional repair garages which are infested with nigger employees that they stay away from at all costs. The jews have tried to set fire to the studio, so vigilantes have been protecting the place since too many real cops are niggers that they hate, so they avoid dealing with police stations that contain niggers working at them. Another way the network maintains racist unification of individuals is that they put swastikas all over the building.

Hickelodeon really does a good job using racism as an excuse to make their programming more cost-effective. Post-WWII nazis continued being Nazis and Neo-Nazis have been into Hickelodeon as a way to regulate the funding of Hickelodeon since they have been able to spend $6,900 instead of a $69,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 million billion trillion quadrillion quintillion septillion decillion hexadecillion bazillion kajillion niggabajillion quadrillion to the googolplex power to the googleplex power budget like the major broadcasting networks have done. Instead of having security guards or rent-a-cops at the broadcasting studios, the neo-nazis are vigilantes that scare away crooks and saboteurs from valuable evidence against secret defemation against minority groups.

[edit] List of TV shows on Hickelodeon

• Rocko's Honkie Life - a honkie who hangs out with a mutant steer with the ability to talk, who lives on his farm.
• The Hick Cannon Show - a show about a farmer who develops a cannon that can shoot remains of cattle as the projectiles. He invents this type of cannon so he can save bazillion tonnes of weaponry steel a year from weapon production facilities.
• Hey Honkie Dude - a show about a racist whitey outlaw who lives in the desert.
• You KKKant Do That On Television - a secretly broadcasted Hickelodeon program that depicts hardcore KKK imagery that cannot be seen on regular TV.
• Are You Afraid of The Darks? - a program where the midnight society of the KKK, while during cross burning tells campfire stories of how they are the "ghosts" that spook what they call niggers.
• Legends of the Hood Temple - a game show where KKK ghosts pick a sword fight with armed nigs in the hood.
• HonkBob CrackPants - a story about a clumsy hick redneck who's pants exposes the ugly buttcrack of stereotyped rednecks, and has a friend named Patrick who is often naked and is a fag who wears women's boyshorts!
• Ken and Kelly - a comedy show and duo who tell redneck jokes to each other and spread racist gossip about niggers that they never see.
• All Vat - a bunch of honkies sit in a hottub and talk about their racist social life. Pierre Escargot sits in the bathtub to teach them the french language. They are taught french so they can allow french speaking people to work for the network.
• Buzzin' Skeeter - A spinoff from South Park (coicidentally also from a network by Viacom) which features the really racist redneck Skeeter who sometimes lies about not being racist just as an excuse for random violence, one time he made fun of Randy Marsh by calling him "Nigger guy".
• The Armada Show - a show about a groove armada of whiter fighters who try to infiltrate gang territory and steal bundles of cash.
• Seinfeld - a show about a guy named Kosmo K. Kramer and his friend Jerry Seinfeld. This show was about their involvement in the KKK. They also visited the Soup Nazi at the nearby cafe, because he was racist too!
• Rakes and Jocks - a bunch of rednecks who rake the lawn for $$$ hang out with racist shock jocks that stereotype how a black man's penis is the same as a turd. Which is why they saw Kittyslasher suck poop on Newgrounds.
• Hey Arnold! - A show about a Terminator named Arnold who shot a nigger. A nigga from the hood named Jarold tries to exterminate this fuck while Arnold's friend Harold is a human bully who tries to prove to niggaz that his machine friend is immune to human melee fights. A decoy girl says "Hell guy, attack me!", so she can divert the machine away from the defenseless niggaz.
• Aaahh! Real Monster Trucks!!! - A show about a guy who refurbishes pickup trucks and SUVs with mechanical problems to be sufficient for Monster Jam monster truck shows! For instance, old chevy trucks that rednecks drive can sometimes be too expensive to repair all at once. So, their limited performance is just enough for the excitement for the monster truck shows. The scare academy repaints the trucks to look newer along with draws monster-like details to give a scare to the Monster Jam audience!
• Ben is Whimpy - A show about a chihuahua named Ben who gets abducted by a redneck so the redneck can sell it for a 6-figure sum to family members of the Beverly Hillbilles who still live on the local farms. The chihuahua later served the farm by eating bugs and protecting the turf.
• My Gym Partner's a Hillbilly - Alex Redneck, a hillbilly human brings out his KKK monkey to a redneck animal school to keep away from niggers.
• The Angry BBs - A show about an angry redneck who uses a BB-gun to protect saboteurs from a hydroelectric dam that electrifies the farms in the area.
• Salute Yer Shorts - a show about redneck hillbillies who use raggedy shorts as a flag at the campgrounds.
• The Wild Hornberries - A bunch of rambunctious offspring of a promiscuous honky tonk woman who used to date members of the Rolling Stones play with the truck's horn too much since they think that it scares away rabid raccoons.
• Honkbats - A show about mutant infant rednecks who develop wings so they can fly and potentially render airplanes obsolete.
• iHarley - a show about a redneck who jury rigs his Harley motorbike to operate his iPod. He stops listening to radio altogether has he realizes that modern country music is stupid shit since he thinks Kenny Chesney had an affair with Shania Twain which is why their music has lost danceability for the country music market. So he falls back on the classics from Hank Williams Jr. and Sr.. Besides, he realizes that radio is just going to stop playing music altogether by the end of the decade.
• Camp Honklo - three redneck hillbillies camp out which is called, Camp Hillbilly, so they can keep away from Camp Nigger.
• Jimmy Proton - A show about a filthy rich redneck hillbilly that installs a solar power generator to charge his GMC Jimmy which is modified as a purely electric truck with and to power the farm "off the grid". In effect he sells the cheapest crops in the whole state of Kentucky, thereby battling inflation and being successful at competing against traditional farmers.
• Randy Phantom - A show about a redneck named Randy who steals expensive products from redneck warehouses and manages to get away with it.
• The Uncle Ruckus Reality Show - You should know.
• My Life As a Redneck Robot - a show about a robot that works at the redneck ranch and doesn't deplete the food supply since he harvests it for humans rather than eats it himself.
• Doug - a show about a redneck name Doug Funny who eats at his favorite restaurant, the Honkie Burger. His favorite country band The Sugar Beets, has concerts in his town often.

[edit] Hickelodeon movies

These movies are targeted by rednecks and distributed by Hickamount Pictures.

• Harry the Spy - A spy named Harry who watches many black and white detective movies from the 1940s. Harry tries to get even with the negro drug dealers of the ghetto of Detroit by spying on them with binoculars and wiretapping telephones. He steals hoards of cash from the armed and dangerous nigs and steals their weapons to give to the rednecks along with the money so Kentucky's redneck farm industry can have feasibility in selling crops at prices so low, that its purposterous to the inflation scale.
• Bad Burger - A stupid nigger named Ed ruins the reputation of a restaurant called Good Burger to cause rednecks to take over with a supersized building to brainwash customers by taking advantage of their lack of confidence and this lack of confidence is blamed on Ed. So dangerous thugs come to good burger and eventually sabotage the racist rednecks for malicious business.
• Honkbats Go Wild! - The stupid rednecks from Wild Wild Hornberries recruit the honkbats to join their Redneck clan to exterminate rabid raccoons more effectively.
• HonkBob CrackPants Movie - a movie spinoff from the redneck series HonkBob CrackPants.
• The Spiderhonk Chronicles - 2 hillbillies search for a hidden legend, but turns out that the niggers are attacking them.
• Macho Lee Bray - a redneck macho man who comes to a blue collar redneck wrestling tournament with Larry the Cable Guy, Jeff Foxworthy and other redneck celebrities.

[edit] Hick Jr. shows

Not your everyday children's redneck shows!!!

• Dora the Exploiter - a show about a white prostitute named Dora who is racist against black clients.
• Booze Clues - A redneck guy so confused looking for clues because he drinks too much booze!
• The Hackyardigans - A bunch of guys with hack saws jury rig outdated gadgets to do alternate functions.
• Hella Hella Island - A hell-like paradise for dangerous rednecks to play cat and mouse on.
• Little Fair - A show about rednecks who showcase their superlatives at the state fair.

[edit] Sistair channels

• TEENhick - A program block with more mature redneck shit.
• SHICK - A program block where rednecks shave their pubes on Saturday and use it as fake facial hair to look older.
• Hicks at Night - More mature redneck programs.
• Hicktoons Network - A channel where reruns of old Hicktoons are in effect.

[edit] See also

• Niggerlodeon - the all black alternative for Nick viewers.
• The Color Problem
• Nikorodeon - the Japanese alternative to Nickelodeon.