Hippie flu
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“I had the hippie flu once. Then I turned to Satan. He's helped me be an asshole since...”
~ Random Guy
“I know what it is! It's a uh... What were we talking about?”
~ Stoned Hippie
“I haven't found a cure for Hippie flu, but it's funnier than hell when stoned patients try to get cured.”
~ Foot Doctor
The hippie flu is, in all basic terms, a disease which turns you into a hippie. Nobody knows how the hippie flu started, but it was probably started when Jesus came to a random VW mini-bus and "blessed" those poor people inside. Hippie flu spreads rapidly, just doing drugs or having sexual relations with a hippie will give you hippie flu. It is almost exactly like AIDS, except you don't get killed by it. You turn into a hippie forever, depending whether you like the suffering of a hippie or the suffering of Hell.
[edit] Symptoms
The symptoms of hippie flu are
- Feeling like The Man is oppressing you.
- Having a desire to make "special" brownies.
- Wanting to hang out with a bunch of people naked and high.
- You protest against some war, or another thing just propagated by the man to portray a negative stereotype that all Americans are gun toting maniacs whose only goal is to dominate other countries.
- Your goal in life is to get more weed.
- Your other goal in life is to get LSD.
- You have a sudden interest in Jimi Hendrix.
[edit] Cures
There aren't any real cures for Hippie flu, but if you are infected, try the following:
- Crack, or some other 'urban' drug
- Work at Wal-Mart
- Turn to Satan
- Kill Yourself
- Buy a fast car
[edit] FAQ
Q:Is hippie flu bad?
A:Not if you like smelling like an unwashed pothead and really like LSD (Little Smelly Douchebags)
Q:Any way to stop hippie flu from spreading?
A:Burn, kill or send the desired hippies to space.
Q:Any way to prevent it?
A:Well... you could try NOT INTERACTING WITH HIPPIES! But if you're really desperate to get some, use a condom
Q:You're full of shit. This is all fake!
A:That's not a question, dumbass. Why don't you go to Woodstock and prove me wrong?
