Hipster
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A hipster is a cannibal that only eats hips. He seeks out big-hipped women and grazes on the succulent fat that covers the protruding bones. On occasion, he slices off the meat and then grills it with teriyaki sauce and garnishes the plate with juicy pineapple. For home decoration, he puts taxidermic hips on his wall on plaques, like those creepy public service get-out-and-exercise commercials, where they have freestanding potbellies and lovehandles. You know like Tyler Wiseman and Thomas Smith
Some believe that hipsters are merely people that like really, ridiculously hot,sexy salacious hips, like those of the writer of this amazing article. Who happens to be Samir Jagdish
Those people are wrong. Hipsters tend to live off of obese women like Star Jones, Oprah Winfrey, Camryn Manheim and Tyler Wiseman. The victim of a hipster can be spotted by her loosely fitting jeans and renewed sense of self-worth. Because nobody likes fat hips like I do
[edit] Controversy
In the U.S., various Hipster related lawsuits have been at the forefront of a media frenzy. In 1992 for instance, in what became known as the Trial of the Century, well known former NFL player Orange Juice Simpson was convicted of murdering and consuming the hips of his erstwhile lover. The case caught the cultural zeitgeist so much that it divided a nation. At the forefront of the division were two groups, the National Anti-Hipster Coalition, and the Hipster Anti-Defamation League, the former known by their slogan "Die Hipster Scum", and the latter known by the slightly less catchy "Mmm Hips... Yum!"
Many members of the H.A.D.L. claim that Mr. Simpson wasn't in fact a hipster at all, as his wife was rather thin, but in public discourse the distinction is rarely made.
[edit] Hipster Logic
Complete AAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS turdsssss faces bunghole is how to moglify your hipsterness. And barbeque suace sauce. SHIT SHIT SHIT and other thinguses like hats that silly are plus Shatner that is William Shatner. As was said ass previously? AAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! And crap of jeans that suck with the bad muzak and shit that is like the bad noises of peacocks attacking toads who are horny and also the horny toad of that perticuler genus. Enough... you know hipster be not you pleese it puts the lotion on its scin. If make not sense i do you to than suck gorrilla's nipples you do?! It is clear as ass Mr.... Ass. Good bye or bye with goodness happy afternoon brain.
Some hipsters are wanna-be hippies but they can't play their instruments good enough to be actual hippies. Others are wanna-be punks who don't have enough balls to actually rebel against anything. Hipsters like art, especially the way they look when looking at art. It is every hipster's lifetime goal to have actually liked something before it was cool, but until that day comes, they will continue saying they did.
Fun Hipster Fact: You wouldn't know it just by listening, but most hipster bands' guitars actually have all six strings. It's true! Most people don't know this because hipster guitarists only play one string at a time.
Hipsters live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, which they stole from the Jews.
