Hollywood, Los Angeles, California
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Hollywood the house to all the naked people in the world! the Actress must be in the shortest clothes as possible! Even if it means that the actress has to show off some of a parental guidance scenes. There has to be a sex scene in every movie even if it is in a car or in the actors house next to his wife! The actor has to be filthy rich and has to have a six to eight pack that he built with the help of his moms steriod basket!
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[edit] Origins
Hollywood was founded in 1925 in Tulsa, Oklahoma by a small group of dudes who like, totally wanted to form this bitchin' band. They quickly realized that they were living in Tulsa, and as such were dirt fucking poor and had no access to any sort of musical instruments, save for their rice-cooking pot which doubled as a kettle drum. So they decided to form an improv troupe instead. That failed too, owing to the fact that none of them had any sort of discernable sense of humor.
A knock-off location was quickly set up in the Los Angeles area to produce third-rate movies in honour of an Indian entrepreneur by the name of Mr. Bolly Wood. Today, dozens of strangely phallic statuettes of Bolly are dished out each year to conniving performers who could marshal the biggest lobby group - see Academy Awards
Formerly known as HollyChuck, founded in Spain II: The Revenge, was later renamed to the more popular Hollywood we now know today.
[edit] Geography
The streets of Hollywood are either paved with gold, or caked in crusted piss, depending on who you ask. Hollywood was discovered in 1200 BC by Josh Groban who had been searching for hundreds of years. Hollywood is also very friendly with it's neighboring states Area 51 and Gotham City. Some say the big site sign that overlooks the town is a man made feature used to attract tourists. This could not be more false! The sign is a natural phenomenon that grew on the hillside about fifty years before being discovered. It is just a coincidence that the town has the same name that is depicted by this sign. Total coincidence. Also, the ruler of Hollywood, Bob Saget, recently purchased four more castles in order for him to boss around the Olsen twins. Go Gary Coleman!
[edit] Business and Industry
Hollywood's main export is a product known as schlock. Schlock is a gooey, oily substance that most people say they find repulsive. In reality, consumers eat this stuff up to the tune of $300 billion dollars a year. This money is then sealed away in an illegal bank account, reportedly belonging to the Speilbergians (the Fourth Tribe of Israel), so as to make certain that inevitable sequels (Schlock II< Bigger, Badder, Oily-er) are less appealing due to lack of funds. Consumers will then spend still more money in theaters, thus perpetuating the cycle infinitely, or until a franchise has sent its main character to space, Manhattan, Mars, the center of the Earth, out for a weekend a Bernie's, or into a syndicated television program.
Strange side effects of this business cycle are reported among theater goers. One cannot help but feel that after going through the hassle of waiting in line several times for tickets and pop corn treats to the tune of twenty American dollars just for the honor of sitting in an uncomfortable seat behind someone who's entirely too tall and restricts your view of the screen, which is rehashing a situational concept that has been done a million times before with better acting, that they can actually hear the director, producer, and main cast members in some gothic château in the middle of the night, laughing manically at your troublesome experience.
Some of the major producers of schlock are Jerry Bruckheimer, FOX, and Burger King.
[edit] Politics
In 1999, after years of being ruled by an iron fisted mayor known only as Carrot Top, the citizens of Hollywood stopped pumping themselves full of cocaine long enough to elect a reformer to the mayor's office. Now they are just full of shit. Ashton Kutcher has since presided over the trucker-capped denizens of this bustling metropolis, and by all accounts it has been a successful term in office. No longer do hookers and pimps parade up and down Hollywood Boulevard and its venerable Walk of Fame. Now, they have nice offices with plush couches and plenty of crystal meth and kittens to go around. First lady(maybe) / Police Chief Demi Moore is currently waging a campaign to eradicate nude beaches from the city. She also has big, amazing knockers.
[edit] Where It's At Today
Hollywood has come a long way since its founding in 1925, but not only for the bummers. There is a theory, or rumor, rather, that Hollywood has become nothing more than thousands of neon lights, strung together to form a super electric city, where there is no real ground or buildings, only ones made of lights. No one yet knows how the city is powered, for there is not enough electricity in the world to do what this city does, there are no windmills near by, and it is always night time in Hollywood, so it isn't solar power either. The legend goes that it is some sort of advance alien force that founded the city in the first place, so of course they could have something to do with its powering. This is of course nonsense, because everybody knows that aliens didn't come here until 1969, just after Neil Armstrong invaded their lunar homeland, and they only use Psychic power anyway.
[edit] Hmm...
Hollywood is now the current dwelling of several famous peeps, but not Bjork'age or Maja Ivarsson, so is not cool. However, some cool people like my mum live there, so it must be cool. According to a recent advert on British television, all the "cool" people have really nice cars, but all drive Renault Clios. Or so Renault tell us. It is also full of Palm Trees, but not Palmium Hawaiianus, so you don't need to worry about having coconuts thrown at yooooh! In these trees is where the celebrity ninjas hide (Celebritiius Ninjamiia), although because not all are real ninjas, you may see Mel Gibson or Arnie Shrawwcharrnegarr drinking milk. Oof.
