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“Home is where you live, unless you're homeless”

~ Captain Obvious on homes

“Home is a place... with napkins.”

~ Jared Williams on homes

Homes have been around forever. Seriously, since the beginning of fucking civilization. From dinosaurs to elves, to cavemen and humans, we have all needed a place to sit back and relax, or get bitched at by a wife or girlfriend. In that case, the local bar or strip club will suffice. Remember everyone, its not what is inside the house, but the size of your dominion.

1 What is a home?
2 People becoming innovative
3 The Living House
4 Homes in the news
5 Fortress Homes
6 See Also

[edit] What is a home?

People for centuries have studied homes and tried to figure out why people or creatures inhabit them. These "architects" have even attempted to create a few of their own houses, to horrible results, such as atomic explosions. But, instead of architects, society has developers who take cookie cutters and punch houses out of them. This has created the Suburbia, USA all over the world.

[edit] People becoming innovative

Since humans are beings who can never seem to be happy, people have taken to "pimping" their houses. Hundreds, possibly millions, now have the ability to pimp their houses. It has been found that people like to add garages housing anywhere from 10 to 1,000,000 cars. Not only do people have large garages, but they also have many common features such as: mega swimming pools, football stadiums, Nascar tracks (for the redneck at heart), and of course, launch pads for ICBMs. It has been found that people with these stadiums usually lease or rent the sports teams to play in them, along with selling tickets for people to see the game. There are always losers in society who try to be crazy by making large kitchens and bathrooms, but then again, who the hell actually wants a large bathroom when you can have a mine field?

[edit] The Living House

A living house dealing with anorexia.

In recent years, architects have been losing jobs because of developers. To counter this, these crazy architects with too much time on their hands, have created the living house. Not only can these homes travel, but they have also been adapted to think and act like humans. Many psychologists have found this disturbing because of the increase in houses that have social problems. This can include emo homes, goth homes, anorexic homes, and obese homes.

[edit] Homes in the news

Recently, houses have been named by stupid people who think that naming places where people live, should have names. One example of this is the White House, the place where the President lives while he/ she attempts to create more debt for the nation. Another prime example, is the Taj Mahal, which translates to "Yellow House" in some Middle Eastern language that few actually speak.

[edit] Fortress Homes

Over the years, it has become apparent that people need to defend their homes against the influx of immigrants and copycats. These copycats actually look at a house they like and then build it EXACTLY like that home. To many, their home is a sanctuary that creates an "escape" from reality and crazy people. To keep people from being plagiarizers, concrete walls resembling the Berlin Wall have been constructed. In addition, barbed wire has been purchased by homeowners in a rate that rivals that of Nazi Germany's barbed wiring of France. In recent weeks, guard towers have been constructed, mine fields laid, artillery purchased, and spotlights set up. In some cases, AA guns have been constructed on the tops of homes so homeowners can shoot down copycats in air balloons and small biplanes. This isolation has created many wars between neighbors or entire neighborhoods because people can usually find one thing that their enemy has that they have, such as: televisions, radios, lamps, cars, and stadiums.