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The United States Department of Homeland Security Terra Advisory System is a color-coded chart that indicates the current likelihood of a terra attack. The system was developed by a team of counterterra-ism experts working for the United States government in the wake of the devastating terra attacks of the early 21st century and the declaration of the War on Terra by President Bush.
[edit] Threat Levels
The Terra Advisory System has six threat levels, denoting likelihood and magnitude of a terra attack from greatest to least.
[edit] Zebra: Extreme
The highest level on the chart is
Zebra, signified by the color
Zebra, which consists of a black and white striped pattern similar to the insignia displayed by one of the known terra factions of Mother Nature's organization. This level indicates that a major terra attack is extremely likely and imminent, particularly from the malevolent forces of
Mother Nature. Should the Zebra level be activated, the United States Army will immediately mobilize and surround known wilderness areas to ensure that no terra elements escape alive.
[edit] Green: Severe
The second-highest threat level on the chart is
Severe, paired with the color
green to represent the nation's rogue trees, which threaten to slow the American homebuilding industry if they are not logged at an ever-increasing rate. This level indicates a very high risk of terra attacks against the United States in the near future. Citizens should remain extra vigilant against terra threats or suspicious terra activities, and, whenever possible, assist in America's fight by arming themselves with chainsaws or axes and defending themselves against nearby trees.
[edit] Blue: High
The third level is
High, denoted by the color
blue, which stands for the malicious oceans, which make unprovoked and despicable attacks against the sand castles of innocent American children on a daily basis. Under a High alert, there is a significant risk of imminent terra attacks, and citizens should again remain extra vigilant. If they desire to assist against the threat of terra, civilians can join the battle by dumping purifying pollutants into the evil waters of the oceans surrounding the nation.
[edit] Brown: Elevated
The fourth level down on the terra alert chart is
Elevated, demonstrated by a
brown color, which indicates that Nature's encroaching grasp has been repelled to moderately safe levels. Citizens are asked to remain vigilant, and, though participation in the struggle against terra is not expected, they can assault the air with aerosol weapons should they wish to help.
[edit] Red: Guarded
The second-lowest level on the chart is
Guarded, represented by a
red hue, which stands for the air pollutants that work day and night attacking the totalitarian ozone layer that wishes to overshadow the Earth with its evil. Though citizens should remain mildly vigilant under this terra level, participation is not required or encouraged, and for the most part civilians can go back to their routines without the fear of a terra invasion.
[edit] Black: Low
The chart's lowest level is simply
Low, shown by a satisfyingly oily
black, showing that supplies of oil, coal, pollution, and other terra deterrents are well above safe levels and terra attacks are highly unlikely in the face of such overpowering defenses. Under a Low alert level, civilians are advised to go about their daily lives as usual, since a terra attack is effectively impossible.
