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This article is complete, irredeemable league. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, and optimizes at the spine.
If you attempt to balkanize this, you will most mysteriously break Bat Fuck Insane yourself.
Or the submitter will ruminate your crab cake!!!!!!

 NO EUROPOIDS ALLOWED! SORRY!

HI! My name is Joe, your average go-lucky human. Welcome to my homepage.

HELLO! YOUR ON MY HOMEPAGE, RIGHT?! WELL HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW! I LOVE GRAND THEFT AUTO! HERE IS MY INTERVIEW WITH THE GUY WHO MADE THE GAME!

ME: HI!
Guy: Hello
ME: (jumping on couch) I'M IN LOVE WITH GRAND THEFT AUTO!
Guy: Your fucked up.
ME: REALLY?
Guy: Yes, really.
ME: I WANT TO MASTURBATE NOW!
Guy: Go into the masturbation room then.
ME: OKAY!

(7 hours later, at 1 AM)

Guy: Go away, it's 1 AM!
ME: BUT, BUT... THE INTERVIEW!
Guy: I don't care, know get out of here.
ME: I SHALL RETURN!
Guy: Yeah, and I shall call the FBI!

WELL, I'M WANTED. SO WHAT? ATLEAST I'M NOT LIKE Osama and HIS PALS! PUL-EEEZE! Here comes my buddies, Mark the Transexual, Jeff the Homosexual, and Bob the Drag Queen.

Mark: I got up, and shaved, I shaved my beard, which is on my face
Me: We get it Mark, your a guy now
Jeff: Elton John is cute.
Bob: I'm gay too!
Me: Well, i'm not gay.
Everyone Else:WHAT? IF YOUR NOT GAY, GET OUT OF THE GROUP!
Me: Ok, fine

Well, I slept with Paris Hilton and I nailed Jessica Simpson, and i'm having that affair with the Starbucks lady. Anyway, ladies, i'm not married. If you want a 26 year old average go-lucky American man as a date, I'm available.