Homer
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- If you clicked this link looking for Homer Simpson, develop more culture.
“He's not Jesus, calm the fuck down!”
~ God on the comment above
“He's smart!”
~ George Dubya Bush on Homer Simpson
“It's great to see such fresh, new up-and-coming talent.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Homer
Homer experienced writer's block from time to time
Homer (god) (born 789 BC) who grew up in Springfield, Ancient America. Homer hated his home country, and later moved to Springfield, Canterbury, South Island New Zealand
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[edit] Homer: The man, the myth, the legend
According to historians, Homer was completely blind, and at the same time was in fact more than one person. Recent research by Baldrick, Cambridge University's leading archaeologist, has shown that Homer's most likely identities were Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie, with a dash of Alan Davies thrown in for good measure. The avalidity of this claim is open to debate, however, following interviews with Fry in the early 1980s.
“Baaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!”
~ Stephen Fry on Whether or not he was Homer
It is a little known fact that he was a keen inventor, coming up with proof that god doesn't exist
[edit] Written Works
Homer is most famous for his two bestselling books, the first being The Illiad: A Deeper Study, and The Odyssey. The first is his award-winning thesis on exactly why Greeks are so terrible at everything american, the answer of course being that they're not true American gayboys. The second is the sequel, dealing with the consequences of the first book, mainly on why every country but Greece is totally awesome. This has a grain of truth to it, as we all know that Greece is not America. Actually Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
[edit] Inspiration
Homer claimed that the inspiration for The Iliad and The Odyssey came from the works of several of his contemporaries, including Arnold Schwarzenegegegegegegegegegegegegegegeer, Sylvester Stallone, Steven Segal, and Jean-Claude Van Damme. "The whole concept of the Trojan war," said Homer in an interview with the New York Times, "came to me when I was watching that scene in one of Segals movies where he's confronted by like fifty ninjas and there's just him but he still manages to butcher them all with the decapitated head of a seal. Of course I had other sources of inspiration, too. Agamemnon is basically a rip off of Arnie in The Terminator, and Helen of Troy is modelled on Elish Cuthbert."
[edit] Death
Homer was also incredibly famous for his competitive eating career. He won numerous awards in the Gyro-eating contests, and even won the Food Olympics (Kilbasah swallow) in that area for an unprecedented 12 years in a row. However, his career was cut short when he accidentally choked on a toothpick. The irony is that the toothpick would not have cut through him if it had one of those small plastic colored wrap thingies on the end of it, the very thing Homer requested to have removed. It was the only time he had it removed, since it was actually a dare to see if he could eat an all-toothpick gyro.
[edit] See Also
- Homer Simpson, who took his name. It is a little known fact that Mr. Simpson is actually Homer's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson
- Socrates, Homer's pal and the inventor of the sock.
- Plato, Homer's other pal and inventor of the plate.
- Aristotle, Homer's final mate and inventor of the arseholebifter on a stick.
- Idiocrates, Homer's half-brother who didn't like Homer all that much but hung around him for scientific kudos.
- Mediocrates, who only read Homer because his local reviewer liked him.
homer had also invented the basketball after hearing of the basketball hoop which had nothing to go with it.
Freaks and Greeks
| Greek: | Greek gods - Greek mythology - Greek language - Greek Empire - Greek War of Independence (video game) - Byzantine Empire (mostly Greek) |
| Greeks: | Socrates - Plato - Aristotle - Alexander the Great - Idiocrates - Mediocrates - Hypocrites - Homer - Euripides - Euclid - Archimedes - Pythagoras - Sophocles - Zorba The Greek - Pericles |
| Gods: | Zeus - Poseidon - Aphrodite - Chaos - Chronos - Hermaphrodite - Athena - Hades |
| Titans: | Prometheus |
| Greece: | Ancient Greece - Athens - Sparta - Rhodes - Thermopylae - Delphi - Geece |
| Greecey Food: | Olives - Olive Oil - Wheat - Darth Feta - Ouzo |
| Greek Ingenuity: | Comedy - Tragedy - Philosophy - Sodomy - Olympic Games |
| Greek Speak: | The Aeneid - The Iliad - The Odyssey - The Destiniad - Oedipus the King |
| Assorted Greek: | UnNews:Greek Prime Minister target by perv |
