Homsar
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| CENSORED |
| This page is censored by an authoritarian regime claiming that it is for your own good. |
“As if one was enough...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Homsar
“We totally censored it because it was unimportant. Not because we are really trying to kill you. Seriously. I mean when have I ever let the world down, y'know?”
~ George W. Bush on Homsar's translated speech
- This article is about the miracle worker, for the letter in the form of electronic... lettering... postage service... mail, see homsar with a minuscule B.
Homsar, a character on Homestar Runner, is the captain of the gravy train, a friendly reminder, and the democratically elected president of the United States of America.He is also the retarded son of a cup of coffie and a chipwitch. He is the great-grand-pappy of Kevin Federline and contributed to several songs on K-Fed's upcoming album, Playing With Crap. He is also a trendy tote bag. Pshoo. He thinks he won the PowerBall.
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[edit] History
Homsar was born Homsar Williams Runner on March 4, 1961, but due to an unfortunate accident, he was sold by Bubs shortly after his birth to a cup of coffee and a slightly melted ice cream sandwich. Despite this, Homsar grew up to be a well adjusted, caring, non-sequitur prone person. Homsar received PhDs in chemistry, politics, paranormal investigation, normal investigation, and kitten huffing on May 27, 1983.
[edit] Work in Science
Homsar immediately set his brilliant mind to work solving many of the problems that has plagued civilization for years. He worked with J. A. R. Newlands to create the first periodic table of elements. He is also credited with the discovery of Fullerenes, also called Buckey Balls (Homsar was quoted as saying, upon the discovery of fullerenes, "aAAaaAAaaAAaa lost Buckey's baseball bat.")
[edit] Sentence Structure Analysis
Homsar's sentences actually have a very deep underlying meaning, but it has taken many centuries to discover. When analysized using Prussia's best code-solving pidgeons, the sentence "I want the flowered fish sack" was revealed to truly mean, "All we really need to do to solve all problems in the world is ████. Thats all. ████ together. Peace out." Once this was discovered, he was shot. Then revived. Then shot again. Then he became a top editor on Uncyclopedia, after having a self-decoder install in his moutherbox - a surgery which cost a minimum of $2.
[edit] Gravy Train Awards
Homsar entered the 2000 Gravy Train Awards as a last place underdog. But putting his best foot flowered, he caught the attention of Wonder Mike and the hearts of thousands. Moving up in the ranks to fourth place, Homsar was cut out of the competition due to Strong Bad dropping a heavy lourde on him. Homsar returned in 2001, to sweep the Captainship of the Gravy Train with his hit Song, 'Song From the Sixties'. He attributes his success to being raised by a cup of coffee. Reported to be the pride of peaches.
[edit] Where is he now?
Homsar can nowadays be spotted:
- Climbing up walls
- Inside a hat
- On a date with your girlfriend
- Writing this article
- Breaking up with me
Hanging from the side of a cliff with that fat dictatorDead at the bottom of the cliff with that that fat dictator and two lunches.
