Honduras
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SEX TOURIST'
“It was okay. Not bad really, but not too good either.”
~ Oscar Wilde on going to honduras
Honduras is a fairly small country. It is about the size of Tennessee, but has far fewer rednecks, and also, a refreshing dearth of you know this is a really stupid website for poeple to get info........also GET A LIFE. Honduras is located in the southern part of the northern hemisphere and may border a few countries, here and there. Specifically, it butts up against Guatemaltecamango on the north, El Matador on the west and Nicotina on the south and east. Nearby, but not bordering, countries are Cosa Nostra, Belizielzebub and Panamania.
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[edit] Toponym
"Honduras" is Spanish for "Depths". This name was given by Christopher Columbus whose ships got stucken by the coast of that country due to lack of favourable winds... When he finally managed to take his ships out, he praised God by saying: "Gracias a Dios que hemos salido de esas honduras (English: "Thanks to God we have come out from those depths")". So "Depths" became the name of the country.
[edit] History
Honduras was settled originally by Native Americans, called "Maya" or "Mayanaise", who lived in ruins, like the famous ones near the town of Copán; since western civilization has little regard for Native Americans, their history or their culture, and we are western and fairly civilized, we shall say no more about them here.
After a while, some Spaniards came along and taught the theretofore uncivilized natives all about civilization. The Spanish lessons consisted largely of oppression, repression, suppression, and, at times, good old fashioned slavery, with a dash of slaughter thrown in for flavor. After a while, most of the natives tired of their lessons, and resisted; the primary method of their resisistance took the form of dying. This resistance had the desired effect, as the Spanishhi uyiuyiuyiuyiyiu stopped oppressing, reppressing and suppressing the natives soon after they died.
Soon, with no "others" to oppress, etc., the Spanish had little choice but to begin oppressing themselves. This has largely continued until today, with various Hondurans oppressing various other, weaker Hondurans. Popular among oppressees are labor rights advocates, workers, environmental advocates, human rights advocates and mimes.
[edit] Geography
The land of Honduras is bumpy and ridgy. In the north there are beaches and banana trees. Also some towns and people. Horses and goats, too. Pigs as well. Also a lot of dogs, at least two (Aþelbert and Peluchín) of which have emigrated to the U.S. and now live on a farm near a town in Virginia called Greenbush
[edit] Culture
Honduras has some culture, which is a useful thing for any country to have. Some of its culture takes the form of freakish rituals like the yearly nance orgy. This happens when the nances (pronounced "NON-say" by Hondurans and "NAN-say" by gringos) ripen and are picked, sold and eaten by all kinds of Hondurans. Nances are evil little vomit-flavored yellow berries sent to earth by the devil himself to plague and torment normal humans. There is truly no experience like tooling down the highway on a chicken bus filled with nance addicts when it begins to rain, at which time all the windows go up and the normal nance-hating humans are overpowered by a toxic miasma of puke-smelling nance fumes that can melt one's eyeballs on contact. There is also no experience like being branded up the anus by mimes wielding red-hot potato mashers, but that doesn't mean one should try that either.
Other than nances, there are many other aspects of Honduran culture that I am far too lazy to go into here. And, for speaking of lazyness, yes, it's said that Hondurans are lazy, but, I wouldn't blame them... The Spaniard were very lazy themselves, so they had slaves (lazy people have slaves, what can we do? Que sera, sera). The Spaniard settlers in Honduras depended on slaves even to have their asses wiped after using the toilet and such situation led the Hondurans to believe that to be lazy is to be White, Christian and civilized, while to work is to be a savage, and since Hondurans wanted to be as much civilized as their Spaniard masters, they decided to quit working. Well, this is not a Honduran issue only, it actually happened in the whole Latin America.
[edit] Economy
Honduras' economy is not diverse, as it depends mainly upon the growth, sale, export and consumption of bananas and banana related narcotics. Bananas are even sometimes used as a form of currency. Another major export of Honduras is flan, which is mined via open-pit mining across the country. Despite having abundant natural deposits of flan and other minerals (such as lint and guacamole), Honduras remains relatively poor due to the fact that 99% of the population went on a road trip to follow the Grateful Dead in a beat-up minibu] back in 1976. The sole remaining inhabitant, Juan Valdez, spends most of his time mining flan with his faithful donkey, Pedro.
The official currency of Honduras is the limpopo (lp), or "limp" for short which has an officially-set exchange rate at 15,000 per yen, or 281 per penguin. It is widely known that Hondurans cannot afford their own currency, and as a result, use the wikipedian as a substitute currency, as this was the only thing found to be more worthless than their currency.
Honduras is a major importer of tentacle hentai porn, air, mimes and Lionel Richie.
[edit] Demographics
Honduras has a population of about 7.1 million,this may include the 4million burros that live in comayagua( well no wander they call it comayagua la ciudad de los burros (in english comayagua the city of donkeys) but hey, who's counting? Certainly not the Honduran census, which operates out of a grass hut in the town of Tela on the North Coast and has a staff of 0. Besides, 7.1 million is too much people for a country of 43,278 square miles only already. 90% of its people tend to be of one race and language, and the other 10% might belong to several minorities.
Honduras has the largest population of Gypsies in the world, being one of the two places in the world (Honduras and Utah) where the government does not collect a gypsy tax. Unfortunately, gypsies are not counted in the census and are usually second-class citizens due to the Traditional Hondurian Social System (THSS) and since the majority of gypsys are refugees from the Jamaican-Turkmenistani War.
[edit] People
Hondurans are really good looking. Honduras has a lot of gorgeous woman. Theres this guy wilmer aka Mr. konceited hes the hottest honduran person. Some work in the fields, others own their onw business. The population is not that large for a country of 43,278 square miles but it is certainly larger than what most Americans think it is. Hondurans are really friendly people but can be really cocky. Finally, most people are easy going and are like dude from the Big Lebowski. They love to dance punta & reggeaton.
[edit] Politics
The current leader of Honduras is this guy. The government is a "democracy", which differs from a traditional democracy (without quotation marks) in that its citizens only refer to it ironically. It has two major political parties, the Nacional and the Liberal. The Nacional Party took its name from Cerveza Nacional (National Beer), which was the worst of the 4 beers made in Honduras, and was so bad they stopped making it in 2002. Though the Nacional Party is also bad, it has not yet stopped the manufacture and sale of Nacional politicians as of 2006. There are approximately 23,670 minor parties, some of which are so small they are still seeking their first member. The capital of Honduras is Tegucigalpa -Te-coochy-coochy-ya-ya-ga-ga-coochy-coochy-ya-ya-here-mocca-choca-lata-ya-ya-creole-lady-marmelade-ooooh-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi-ce-soir-galpa. yup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 | Central America and South America |
| Central: Belize | Costa Rica | El Salvador | Guatemala | Honduras | Kittenolivia | Mexico | New Mexico | Nicaragua | Panama | Panama Canal Zone | |
| South: Argentina (en español) | Bolivia | Brazil (em português) | Republic of Bulimia | Cat Nation | Catspace | Chile (en español) | Colombia (en español) | Easter Island | Ecuador (en español) | Falkland Islands | French Guiana | Galapagos Islands | Guyana | Locombia | Paraguay | Peru (en español) | Seahorsia | Suriname | Uruguay (en español) | Venezuela (en español) |
