Horacio

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"all your base are belong to horacio"

~Oscar Wilde on aybabtH

"You no need put money in my pocket the door is closed I just lock it."

~Zlad! on ynnpmimptdicijli

Horacio, also know in different countries as Hóráciú, Horaciuh, Horaces, Òrácio and Hercules, is commonly mistaken for the ancient Matumbino god of soy beans. While being one of the most ancient deities on Terra, it is also one of the most obscure and unknown to the masses - only shadowed by Azathoth. Usually found among the wildest penguins of Antarctica, Horacio is usually shaped as a body. He is characterized for having distinct features, like body parts.

1 Followers of Horacio
2 The Spelling Mythos
3 Spelling Examples
4 Well-known Followers among the few who actually know the deity

[edit] Followers of Horacio

Most followers of Horacio are called Followers of Horacio for unspecified reasons. The cult is mostly based in France. Having lots of fancy perfume and long bread also helps to focus the precious energies that most cultists try to channel. The Followers are mostly a secret organization, widely spread around the world, with an even number of vans to their disposal. They use most football clubs as a a coverup for their operations. Once two ninja jumped over some guy and he totally sliced them in two. Awesome.

[edit] The Spelling Mythos

One of the most tradicional ways of following great Horacio is by tributing him with random sentences. These sentences come from random inicial letters themselves. Pleasing Horacio is not an easy task, but its loyal followers are expected of nothing less that 20k of red wood and plaster per month. It is unknown how this practice came to be. Some say it is indeed due to Horacio's duality, his constant state of being and not being, while others ponder on the fact that he cannot be something inferior to a true god and that by being a true god he is everything, and therefor he is something inferior to himself. In fact, many elves prefer ketchup over barbecue sauce, which on it's turn makes everyone believe that the spelling comes from the incertitude over his true name and form.

[edit] Spelling Examples

The tribute starts kindly, with someone offering a fair quantity of letters. For example:

fmwdysmbh

Immediatly all followers must let Horacio's energies flow and, with the offering of letters, conduct those same energies into prophetic messages according to those same letters. For example:

fuck mate why don't you suck my balls huh

Jesus f-cking Christ

One strange fact is that ponctuation is of no matter to the deity. The words flow throw the follower and may form ambiguous phrases, which must then be deciphered. This ambiguity has caused immense debate over the centuries, and wars have arose due to korn syrup. One of the most heated debates was in 768 B.C. when Articlones prophecised "jfc = jesus fucking christ". The debate lasted until today, and people still don't actually know what he meant.