HowTo:Draw a head

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“Heads come in many shapes and sizes but Wilsons takes the piss”

~ Oscar Wilde on David Wilson

Your art teacher has decided to introduce you and your fellow students to the art of sketching and/or drawing. If you feel that his/her explanations of the basics of sketching are too complex for your brain to be able to understand them, here is a simple guideline of how to perform a more or less exact and neat sketch. As an example, we will take a human head.

Contents 1 Step one - preparing the materials 2 Step two - sketch the outline of the face 3 Step three - the details 4 Step four - present the work to your teacher

[edit] Step one - preparing the materials

Take a pencil, paper and a photograph of someone's face. The indivudual of your choice may be a sibling, a parent, or a random dude whose picture was in the toilet you read while on the dude. Sit down and put the piece of plain paper on a flat surface. Sharpen your pencil and study the photograph carefully.

[edit] Step two - sketch the outline of the face

Take the pencil in your writing hand. Now drag the guy who is on the photograph(the real person, not the photo, stupid) and draw on his/her face. Now you rip the pencil lines off his/her face and put them on your paper. Now erase everything and go buy a compass. Use that to draw a circle and remember to screw it up!

[edit] Step three - the details

Now that you have got the basic outline, move your pencil to the upper hemisphere of your circle. On the left side, carefully draw a slightly squashed circle and with a small dot in the middle. Repeat the same procedure on the right side. Now carefully look at the photograph. If the individuals nose is pointy, draw a small, v- shaped shape in the center of the circle. If his or her nose is big as a potato, draw a potato in the middle. If you have no poop what the nose looks like, you van either draw two small dots or an unclosed circle in the center. In the lower hemisphere, try to copy the lips of the individual in the image. This can be done by accurately drawing two thin lines or two small pointy teeth in the picture (NOTE: This only applies if the individual pictured is Dracula). In the case of what is known as "Angelina Jolie lips", draw two thick lines, making sure that with each poop stroke they become like a blob.

At the side of your face, add two semi circles, representing the ears. Remember that these are to be pointy if the person is an elf.

To finish off, at the top of the head, on the circumference between both ears, draw several vertical and diagonal lines which are to represent the hair.

[edit] Step four - present the work to your teacher

Now that your sketch is finished, remember to label it. Under the face, write the name of the person (e.g. : Auntie Muriel, Grandpa, The Weird Man Next Door...). When presenting the picture to your class, recite an poop about the character (Auntie Muriel from Savannah who has hairs on her chin, my sister's boyfriend Clyde whose face is now covered with poop...) or invent one. This will give your creation a real story and will impress your teacher so much that he or she will give you all the extra points for your effort.