HowTo:Never Get Laid
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Maybe you want to be a priest or maybe you're an extreme masochist -- either way your goal is to not get laid. So you may ask yourself, how do I not get laid? The answer is simpler than you think. Uncyclopedia has created a checklist of things to check preferably in list fashion. If you follow this guide, there's a strong chance that you will Never Get Laid.
Contents |
[edit] Checklist
Here's a list to check off to ensure you never get laid:
- Do you know what 'getting laid' is? If so, you know too much already and risk getting laid.
- Is your name easy to pronounce? If so, change it.
- Make sure to consume all said likorish to ensure complete dental decay and thus develop your aura of unlaidworthiness.
- Are your parents asian? If so, become stupid.
- Careful, by doing so, you may accidentally tear the fabric of the universe (brought to you by Old Navy).
[edit] Checklist (Part II)
If you were good to go so far, make sure your parents do not look like crack dealers or she-males.
If you are either of these people, read no more, for you shall Never Get Laid.
[edit] Living in the US
Move
[edit] Or Plan B
Open a World of Warcraft account
[edit] Finally Plan C
Be Alex McDonald of Aberfoyle Park South Australia
