HowTo:Online Jihad
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By the grace of Allah the merciful, the wise, the fight against the infidel goes on. In these days of struggle against the unrighteous, a new enemy has emerged. This enemy spreads the most unholy message of lies and deceit, and leads people down the path of evil. Its name is Uncyclopedia.
Today's modern terrorist must use any means necessary to ensure the struggle for the faith can be carried out on all fronts, even the virtual ones. Now that the decadent western cowards are hiding behind the filthy impure internet, we brothers of the true faith must take the fight to their unholy virtual world.
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Contents |
[edit] How to steal bandwidth in the Great War against the infidel
Stealing bandwidth from the infidel is easy. All you have to do is follow these simple steps:
[edit] Upload
Uploaded uncompressed bitmaps to imageshack (preferably pictures of your family and pets. Be sure to dress them up in headscarves and put some toy guns around the place to make it look super-terroristy).
Uploading Flash animations full of bitmaps to see what happens is endorsed by the Qu'ran:
"Know ye that the prophet Macromedia (may his name be blessed) has given to you a great gift, in the form of the Holy BMP. Trust not the JPEG or the GIF, for they are not servants of the one true God."
[edit] Spam
Spamming is another great way to steal bandwidth from the infidel. Every true online terrorist knows that spamming is the heart and soul of online terrorism.
[edit] Spam
Spamming is another great way to steal bandwidth from the infidel. Every true online terrorist knows that spamming is the heart and soul of online terrorism.
[edit] Spam
Spamming is another great way to steal bandwidth from the infidel. Every true online terrorist knows that spamming is the heart and soul of online terrorism.
[edit] Spam
Spamming is another great way to steal bandwidth from the infidel. Every true online terrorist knows that spamming is the heart and soul of online terrorism.
[edit] Spam
Spamming is another great way to steal bandwidth from the infidel. Every true online terrorist knows that spamming is the heart and soul of online terrorism.
[edit] Annoying Emails
Forwarding annoying emails is another great way to steal bandwidth from the infidel. Every true online terrorist knows that the annoying email is the heart and soul of online terrorism. Since the time of the Divine Prophet Mohammed (may his name be blessed), pretending to sell penis enlargement kits and diplomas and then keeping them for yourself has been a most honourable and rewarding way to declare a jihad. Creating pointless chain letters to accumulate twee, obscure personal information from lonely internet geeks pleases Allah (the merciful, the wise) greatly.
[edit] Vandalzing Wikis
The infidels will only try to fix your wiki vandalism or block you, but we have many suicide IP's ready. Oh, that the glory of being chosen should be yours! IP's that are martyred to the cause shall have a special place set aside for them in the IANA address network, where 72 virgin DNS servers will attend to them for all eternity.
[edit] Bad Grandmar / Spell
Using bad gramar can slow down the reading proccess and mack it nerely imposblie to reed ani giben sentcne.If its a wiki article the infidels will then waste der time trying to fix the errors and search out the mistakes. In the name of Allah, the merciful, the wise, the leecher of bandwidth!!!
[edit] Slashdot of Mass Destruction
The infidel lives in fear of the day that his site shall appear on Slashdot. For that is the day he will ride his server down in flames.
