HowTo:Put This Delicately

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Oh man, this isn't going to be easy. Why is this in your house, anyway? What is this, a WTF plaque?

Oh, uh, hey! You know how you were really banking on that investment in parachute pants? You know how crazy you were about parachute pants two weeks ago? You know how much that parachute pants stock meant to you? You know that you put not only your life savings in that, but also mine? Do you remember saying that it was a sure thing? Do you recall how much money went into that? Do you... do you... parachute pants... Oh jeez, how do I put this delicately?

[edit] What? What are you saying?

You know how much you loved your mom? You know? You remember your mom? You know, the lady that carried you for nine months? You remember? You remember how much she loved collecting knives after her tour of duty? You remember how she was a bit suicidal? Do you remember? I know you loved your mom. I know you did. You know how she liked playing with fire? Do you recall that one Christmas when she set the tree on fire? You know how she was an unlicensed stunt-woman with no experience? Do you, uh, remember that? You know that she liked to pretend to be a doctor sometimes and how she said she was "too smart to get caught"? Do you... uh... suicidal... the knives... fire... unlicensed...

[edit] Spell it out!

You know your little dog? You remember your dog Fluff? You remember her, right? The dog? The thing with four legs that liked to shit on my carpet even though I screamed at it not to? You know my apartment is on the 20th story, right? You know? You know how I told you over and over not to bring that dog over? You know how dogs can't fly? You know? Dogs? The things that can't fly? And you know how I'm not the most balanced person in the world? You know that thing you drank that you said was the "best hair covered milkshake" you'd ever had? You know? Did... did you know... the dog... Fluff...

[edit] What now?

You know how you lost your hand a while back? You remember? Your hand, the thing with the fingers that did stuff? You remember? Do you remember your hand? You remember the night it happened? You remember that you were a little tipsy? You remember? Do you remember waking up naked on a concrete slab in the middle of a forest? Do you remember? Do you recall that morning? Do you remember that slab? Did those symbols mean anything to you? Do you sometimes blank out for days at a time and wake up with a bloody knife in your hand? Do you remember that? Do you recall? The... the thing with the hand... your hand and stuff...

[edit] ...What now?

Do you remember ever having a son? Do you recall that? That thing that kept bugging you for food, clothing, and shelter? Do you remember that thing? Do you recall? That thing that looked sort-of like your brother? Do you remember that? Do you remember that gift I got him? Do you recall that? Do you remember that gift? Do you remember not seeing him for the past few weeks? Do you... do you remember that? That present I got him? Do you remember the sayings that doll had? Did you ever look in its eyes? Did you see your son playing for hours and hours with a girly-looking doll all alone in the creepiest room of the house? Do you remember that? How... how he's gone and everything... the... the doll...

[edit] Wiggidy-what?

Do you remember that art show I had? You remember that art show I put on? Do you remember that I put on an art show, a show with art that happened to be a show? You know how I use photos for my art? Did you know that? Did you know that my shows aren't open to the public, and are just me flashing photos up on my wall with a projector? You know? Did you know? You know how I like to stay over at your house sometimes? Did you know that? Did you know that I usually just let myself in in the middle of the night? Did you know about my art? The breaking into your house? The video camera? Did you know I'm an artist? Did you know that you're a heavy sleeper? A really heavy sleeper? Did you realize that, with the right drugs, you can sleep while being undressed and having your- uh, did you realize? Art shows... breaking and entering... my art... your mom and kid are at my house... the projector... masturbation marathon... orgy...