HowTo:Use the Infomercial in a Box
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Have you ever had a great idea, but couldn’t sell it? Ever had a bad idea, but couldn’t sell that either? Have you never had a single coherent idea in your entire life but still couldn’t sell it? If you answered "yes" to any of those questions, fret no more! Today, I’m going to show you this new, miracle product which allows anyone to sell anything! It’s easy-to-use, inexpensive, extremely profitable, and incredibly fashionable! What is it? Why, it’s the Infomercial in a Box!
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[edit] What is it?
You may wonder, what exactly is this product? Well, The Infomercial in a Box comes in – and is – a lightweight box (it weighs only 672 ounces – a mere 42 pounds!) that stores within it a fully functioning camera (batteries not included), a full backdrop for filming your infomercial, fake statistics to help you sell your product, and a comprehensive manual.
[edit] Customer Testimonies
Trust me, the Infomercial in a box is a life-changing product. One of our customers, Hal Ferguson, says that only a few days ago he was jobless, friendless, and all of his earthly possessions had been repossessed. All he ever wanted was a hug, but we did him one better! After only one use of our astounding product, Hal was not only back on his feet, but he was also able to sell hugs to people over the TV! If you can sell something as trivial as hugs using this product, just imagine what other wonders you could sell!
[edit] Our Guarantee
Now, despite everything that comes in this astounding kit, you may not be fully convinced it works. Well, I’ll tell you what – we are so confident that this product works, that it doesn’t have a money back guarantee! Why? Because we are so certain that you’ll love this product, that we know that you won’t ever want to return it! We also have no customer service, because we are so positive that you’ll have no trouble with the product because of how complete and thorough our manual is! You won’t find such firm conviction in any other company that makes a product like this, so why buy from them when you can buy from us!
[edit] Where and when can it be Obtained?
This, and the Infomercial in a box, a $4.96 Multi-billion $900 value, is all yours for only 5 easy payments of $19.99! Plus, if you order within the next ten minutes we’ll also include a seemingly irrelevant guide to properly grooming roosters, absolutely free! We’ll also decrease the price from 5 easy payments of $19.99 to only 4 easy payments of $29.99! You do the math and you’ll see what kind of bargain that is, though we’re hoping you don’t! Just call 1-800-NOT-FAKE now, or log on to www.InfomercialInABox.com! That’s 1-800-NOT-FAKE or log on to www.InfomercialInABox.com!
